I really could do with some help and advice on this as I'm getting desperate.
Been separated for a year, ex had an affair and left for ow, they're still together. DD is 6 and doesn't know about ow. A year has passed and people often comment on how strong I've been but it still feels raw and I'm still trying to move on and get over the hurt he caused.
My own parents are divorced and I am gutted that dd is now going through the same, I wanted to make it as easy as possible for her and as such feel I have 'over-accommodated' him so that she is happy. I've pushed my own feelings aside but don't feel that I can any longer.
For example he comes here to visit her one evening a week, quite often she'll want to show us both something so we'll both be there for 15 minutes before I leave them to it. On weekend drop offs he'll come in and hang about for 10 mins or so with her and he often sends texts to her via my phone. We go to parents evening and school concerts together and sometimes text about what she's doing.
This is exactly what I want my coparenting relationship to look like but in reality I don't think I can carry on for the foreseeable future. We never argued when we were together but now something seems to blow up every couple of weeks and leads to me getting upset and feeling back at square one with his total disregard to my feelings.
Would it be selfish of me to say I want minimal contact for 6 months and then see where I am with it? I so want us to be friends for dd but not sure I'm in the right place emotionally to cope with it. I feel so torn. I feel I need to put the brakes on but don't want her to suffer as she likes us being there for her together and him being in the house. He's just caused so much pain and I need time to move on without him in my space.