Not sure how to cope with a break up

[Littlemissgigle3]

Hi everyone

I'm not sure this is the site for me but I just need a bit of advice/help/someone to listen to me, I'm not sure what it is I need to be honest!

So just after new year my boyfriend split up with me. We have been together 5years and it was completely out of the blue (for me). He says he hadn't felt happy for a while and that he needed to leave, he has since also said that he felt we were stuck in a rut.

I was and still am so in love with him. I just can't understand why he wanted to leave, yes looking back now we were probably stuck in a rut but to me the answer isn't to leave, it's to talk about it and see what we can do.

I'm really struggling with the breakup, 6/7 weeks in now and I feel so miserable all the time. I fear that I wontget over him and that he was "the one".

im holding on to so much hope that he will change his mind and want to try again. We used to live together so I've moved back to my parents and he's moved out to somewhere else. I'm finding it hard having to come back to my parents house but can't imagine living by myself.

I don't think it's helping that during moving out of the house a couple of weeks ago we slept together.

I'm not sure what replies I'm expecting because I know there's not a lot that can be said. I'm just so fed up of feeling miserable and crying. Don't get me wrong, I'm not crying all the time but every now and then it just catches me out.

I'm sorry you're so distressed. It sounds as though a big part of the problem is that you don't really understand why it ended. His reasons sound rather vague and unconvincing. Sadly, they also sound like the kind of thing people say when they're either trying to save your feelings or they're covering up something really unpleasant.... like having found someone new.

No, it didn't help that you slept together because it will feel like you've been rejected all over again and dashed your hopes. It will have set you back a few weeks. But there's not a lot you can do about it now.

I'm glad you're with your family. Are they people you can talk to? Do you have close friends you can confide in? Sadly, until you find out the real reason he left - and there will be a reason - all you can usefully do is stay busy & get on with life best you can. Good luck

Hi thanks for your reply. He says there is nobody else and I do believe him but obviously I know I could be wrong.
Yeah I have s couple of close friends who I have been talking to, they were mutual friends of ours but since the split they haven't spoken to him.
The only thing is they are male friends. I don't really have any female friends, only the girlfriends of my male ones.
I speak to females at work but not much out of work.
I'm 27 years old and feel too old to be living at home and to be single!
Also feel a bit lonely and I think the lack of friends doesn't help, although the close males ones and their other halves have been fantastic.

Again, not sure what replies I'm expecting, just need to talk about it and I'm fed up of telling friends/family!

After five years with one person, and especially when the end came as a surprise, you're bound to feel disorientated. Being single and back at your parents' house probably will seem like a step back but it could equally be a motivation to reassert your independence and make a fresh start. It's just an observation but do you think you've neglected making new female friendships because you've had your ex and his mates to fall back on? Developing a brand new social life and losing some of these old mutual friends could be something to focus on.

www.meetup.com

I know when my ex broke up with my it was the feeling that I was having decisions about my future being made for me by other people which made me feel helpless and depressed. I actually asked him for a phone call to get sort of closure. But all I really got was a list of things where I did things in his opinion wrong. So sometimes it's best to just try to put things behind you. How about looking into Meet Up or booking a group holiday to meet some new people?