Just want to start a new life

[breakingthebank]

I feel trapped in a life I don't want. I don't know why I'm posting really but just need to get it off my chest.

I am still living with a husband who has treated me like shit for the last 12 years but has suddenly become husband of the fucking year because I've said I want to separate.

I'm in a stressful full time job that is sending me over the edge but I need the money. I

I'm sick of the house I live in, it needs a lot of work done and I haven't got time or money to do it.

I just dream of running away with my dcs and starting again but I know that can't happen as we'd still need money to live and they are settled at school.

Sorry that you feel like this. I am feeling in a bit of a hole myself, so can't give the useful platitudes: look for the positive, get a hobby, etc. etc. The only advice that comes to mind is to make sure that you have a running away account. Maybe when you have the finianical means to go then you'll see things more clearly.

Thanks for the support PurpleApple and sorry you're feeling low.

I've been getting finances in order for the last 6 months and have been quite productive, paid off 3 credit cards so just a loan left now that is due to end this year anyway. I think I will feel better once debts are cleared and I can actively save some money.

I so wish dh would accept I don't want to live with him but that won't happen. He promised me he'd move out but that turned out to be BS designed to stop me moving into rented accommodation.

I should have just left without telling him but I was worried about being lumbered with all the debts and I felt guilty deceiving him

Do you have anyone supporting you? Aside from your STBX, does anyone else know your plans? It can be a lonely business restarting your life, especially if you're getting a hostile reaction.

You are making progress. You will get that new life. The finances will work themselves out and you are clearing debt - but are you certain that OH is not building a slush fund?

Also good that STBXH is now behaving well - but you know that this is too little too late.....means you will have no regrets.

Keep you dreams of a new life alive by doing something practical to inch towards it each day. You all deserve to be happy.