Background - married 4 years, together 6. For the first few years, DH was a supply teacher and would often come home upset as a contract had suddenly ended. I'd comfort him and support him until he found something else. I had a full time permanent job.
For the past 2 years he's been working at the same contract, earning about £500 per week.
I have a long term health problem (fibromyalgia) and was really struggling with working full time. I asked to reduce my hours in current role, boss said no and started bullying me. It got so bad I was signed off with stress and resigned. This was last October.
Initially he was supportive, said my health was more important than anything else, but then kept dropping hints of 'I don't know how we'll pay the bills' every once in a while, made me so unsure of myself. His salary more than covers the bills but up to this point I'd always paid half even though my salary was much less than his.
Anyway, I got another job within a week but on much less money (£7.18 for 20 hours per week). I worked out that we both paid proportionately the same amount from our salary towards bills, which didn't leave me much after bus fares, my share of food shopping etc. To be fair, if I needed any extra money I'd ask for it and he'd give it.
He'd drop hints every so often, like when I asked to borrow his laptop he said I should buy my own, I said I couldn't afford to, and he said I should work more hours. It's already a struggle to work 20 hours a week and he knows this.
Yesterday, my boss said that they were going through a quiet time and wouldn't need me for a few months (poss until June / July). Nothing to do with my work, just his view that there wasn't enough to do. This was a complete shock for me and came from nowhere.
I intend to start job hunting on Monday as obviously can't sit on my backside for months waiting for them to call me. DH is now freaking out over money but I know financially we'll be okay, and that I'll work at getting another job as soon as possible (haven't been out of work for more than a week since we met!)
It just feels like it's okay for him to get support when his contract ends, with me telling him not to worry, it will all be fine, but when I need support I get him telling me about how we can't afford it etc.
I love him so much, and he's so supportive generally of my ill health although obviously gets frustrated as any partner would. I feel under so much pressure to go back to work full time and wreck my health again just to stop the comments but dread feeling how ill I did last time I worked full time.
Anyway, thank you for reading my essay. I've tried to show both sides as much as possible. If anyone has any advice I'd be happy to hear it.