Comparing yourself to others

[nslw]

I read somewhere that comparison is the thief of joy, and that sums up how I feel right now.
I constantly compare myself to everyone around me. How I look, my job, my relationship, home ownership, having children... Everything! It's exhausting. I feel like I'm being unappreciative of what I have- I know that I'm very lucky with my life really. But I cannot seem to keep comparing what I have to what others have... Can anyone help me see a way to stop doing this?

Practice...

If you find the answer let me know-I am exactly the same and you're right, it is exhausting. I try to be all 'Couldn't care less what other people think' but fail spectacularly!

It is your responsibility to create a life for yourself that you are fully satisfied and content with.

So if you are jealous of xxxx because she has lots of cash, why can't you take steps to earn lots of cash yourself?

If you are jealous that xxx looks so amazing then why can't you go to the gym to get an amazing body?

I never compare myself to others. There are things in the world I want but haven't got (yet) but I see it as a work in progress to achieving these things.

Hi nslw. Try to remember that appearances can be very deceptive. Four years ago my (now) XH and I were teetering on the edge of divorce. I remember hearing that the mother of a girl in DD's class was going away for a night in a posh hotel with her husband for Valentine's Day, and that made me very jealous and very sad. Her husband was in an extremely well-paid job; they had a huge house; everything seemed to be perfect....

Fast forward a few months and she discovered that he was having an affair, whereupon he walked out. We bonded in our misery, and remain close friends. Her husband returned & her marriage survived, but mine didn't. I'm genuinely delighted for her; equally, I know that divorce was right for me. Please don't think I'm wishing ill on others, because I'm not, but I always remember that Valentine's incident when I am tempted to envy someone. You just never know the truth of what is going on.

But if you are comparing yourself you aren't really happy IMO you want something different to what you have. Why can't you go after it?

The thing is that I AM working towards these things. I lost nearly 3 stone, and I'm working on my career prospects. It's silly things. For example, my husband and I do not plan to have children for another few years. I am happy with this and in my heart of hearts do not feel ready to have a child at this moment. So why do I feel so strange when I hear that other people are pregnant? It doesn't make any sense
@UpNorthAgain thank you... I'm going to try to remember that!

There's another expression...... 'count your blessings' and you might want to give that a try. Sounds easy but it takes a conscious and repeated effort to look around you at the things you have in your life and keep a score of your good fortune.

Which links to the next suggestion..... compare down as well as up. If you're surrounded by people who appear to have more, it's probably because you're conveniently ignoring those who appear to have less. Seek them out and help them.... then you'll not only feel better about yourself, you'll be doing some good at the same time.

Your never going to be happy if you keep comparing and wanting more.

You don't know what goes on behind closed doors. You can only be you and you can only live your life!

Spend time feeding your own grass and it will be greener. Jealousy is destructive.

Whilst I agree with all the advice given here its hard to practice what has been preached.
My personal 'gripe' at the moment is being single and a single parent at that. I work 7 days a week in my own business and I am making huge strides to become better off financially. However the more i work and the more I earn decreases any in work benefits I get (don't mind being flamed for saying this ) so I am working flat out for no apparent difference in our lifestyle. I think that if I was in a partnership I would actually be able to enjoy a better life.
I try to console myself with the fact that everything is not rosy in the garden in every relationship and that if I work hard enough I will eventually tip over the edge and see a tangible financial reward.
I've had enough shitty relationships to last a lifetime too.

Quitelikely has it. It's your responsibility in life to make yourself happy, if you aren't then you need to find out why. It's a pointless, exhausting way to live constantly comparing yourself to others but it's only up to you to change that.

I used to be like you - always felt everyone else was more confident, popular, wealthy, attractive than me and had better relationships/friendships etc than me.

The years have passed and I watched those people who I once envied - their relationships floundered, one committed suicide.

Now when I see them I see them as being just like me. My feelings towards them in the past were due to my own insecurities and poor self esteem and perhaps some of them putting on an act as they wanted to be seen as popular and having it all.

As I've got older and wiser I've relaxed and simply become happier in my own skin. I'm busy and enjoying life. I don't have the time or the inclination to waste my thoughts on what others have because my life is good.

So maybe work on getting some new interests and meeting some new people.Challenge yourself; just have a go at some new stuff.

Hello NS

It sounds exhausting !

I find it helpful to appreciate the simple things in life first eg
A sunny day
Being healthy
Laughing
Spending time with friends & family
Enjoying small things that make me happy
Each day is a fresh new day

Other bigger things in life, I have made goals for myself & set plans in place. These have taken time & effort !

I have found that some people dont appreciate things until they are gone !

Everyone has their own goals & we all have different paths to live our lives

Personally, I would put your "excess energy" into something that you want to achieve & stop worrying about other people !. Plan some short & long term goals

Some people are unlucky, make the most of what you have already !

Love yourself first & spread love to other people

Good luck

I used to compare myself to others for a long long time. I believe everyone on this earth was put here for a purpose. We all have varying purposes and therefore we all require different skills and attributes in order to fulfil that purpose.

It is completely worthless in comparing ourselves to each other because we are all entirely unique. We all have different strengths and weaknesses, we all look different etc. There are people in this world that are just as good as you - but NEVER anyone better than you.

People are too wrapped up in the materialistic things of this world which is perhaps foolish as money and nice things are all temporary. They can be taken away at any time.

That is my two pennies worth :)

Practice positive thinking!
Each morning make a list of 10 things that make you happy/ appreciate/ are proud of and keep doing it. Its sounds stupid but it works! Helps you to stop thinking negatively