Help me decide: should I call it quits?

[secondchanceathappiness]

Long story but BF has Had MH problems. I'm worried hes about to relapse into depression (he even said he was worried he was sliding towards depression again). He's finding day to day life more & more difficult. I'm finding him increasingly difficult to be around because, although I'm trying to help & support him the best I can, I have 2 dc of my own (he is separated with 2 dc too). We have always got on so well, but he's had major issues (all before we met). I thought he was the one (we've both been married before), but as the days pass I feel like I'm losing him. It's breaking my heart & I feel so helpless. Should I call it quits before I get drawn in any further? Been together for 18 months. Any advice much appreciated as I feel so sad tonight. Thanks in advance.

Does your boyfriend take any responsibility for his MH issues? Does he see the doctor, keep up with the treatment? Either way, if you find him too much to cope with it's perfectly OK to call time on the relationship. Don't stick with someone against your better judgement - even if they're otherwise a nice person.

You shouldn't feel obligated in any relationship. Is he seeking help? Is he under the care of a psychiatrist or his GP?

18 month relationship, not living together, you having 2 DC from a previous relationship, he has had previous major MH problems. I'd be inclined to take a break while he sees if he can sort out his problems.

Thanks for replies. He was under community psychiatric nurse but discharged last year... Have broached subject of seeing doc again but he said he'd 'be back to square one'. I honestly don't know what to do /think!

If he's dismissing the idea of going back for treatment I don't think you have much option. Your responsibility is to yourself and your DCs.

Realistically, BF is likely to continue to have MH problems - depression is a relapsing illness that tends to be lifelong. If he's not willing to consider treatment and take steps to address the problem, life with him is going to be pretty miserable for both of you. I wouldn't cut him loose before talking it through again and trying to persuade him to get help, but ultimately it's your life too and you don't deserve to be stuck with someone who is going to drag you down with them.

I have severe relapsing depression. I realise that it's probably going to be a lifelong battle, but it's a battle that has to be fought. He might have had bad experiences with community MH care, I think that most of us have. He doesn't have an option though; doing nothing is not going to work, and he'll only deteriorate. If you have been supporting him, then he has to keep his part of the deal; he has to seek help and keep within the system. He has to contact his GP if he feels that he is becoming unwell again.
I know it's difficult being the partner of someone with MH issues. It's not fair on you for him not to do the utmost to keep himself well, and for him to seek appropriate help if he feels himself starting to go under.

I have depression/anxiety and have had, on and off, for over 20 years.

Over the past 12 months, I have felt the best I ever had and thought it was gone. It wasn't. I just didn't recognise ot creeping back this time.

I have had to accept that I will be on medication/have treatment now, albeit on and off, for the rest of my life.

I have to take responsibility for it. If he isn't, then you need to get out or your life will be miserable.

Thank you for sharing your stories - i really appreciate it. I've been doing lots of reading up on depression & how to help. Will be having conversation later... Thanks again x