i put this on AIBU but has I think is more appropriate here- really sorry buts its very long.
2 days ago it was my daughters 8th birthday. she has never had a birthday party in the traditional sense, usually we just go out for lunch. this year I wanted to give her a proper party. I invited 14 of her school friends to the house. I made a pass the parcel., party bags little prizes for the kids and so on. a friend offered to help out- she was brilliant and I dont think i could have done it without her. they arrived at 1 left at 3. my husband works for himself so can decide when he takes time off. usually he works weekends. he did take the day off but spend the most of his time in his room. he helped me clean the house in the morning and took my daughter to the shops which are a 5 min walk away to buy her present- all this took about 20 mins. During the party he popped down twice for about 2 mins. he wasn't even there when she was blowing out her candles. as well as this he didn't lift a finger to clear up the mess after I FEEL REALLY DISAPPOINTED- especially as he is going away for a couple of days tomorrow( holiday , ). I told him how upset I was- he responded by saying that he took the day off , he doesn't do parties ant that he's a 48 year man and doesn't have to help out if he doesn't want too. he has stayed in his room most of the eveining.
we have been having problems before this party as it goes. It all stems from Christmas when I accused him of not doing anything to help. he said that this comment was unforgivable as he had driven several miles to pick up my sister and her partner and my father ( he is very old -90 and having radiotherapy treatment for skin cancer on at the time). they were having Christmas with us. I had asked his if he didn't mind doing them this favour weeks before and he said that would be fine . ANYWAY because I had said that I have totally ruined his Christmas and things have been really up and down. often he tells me that I am a horrible abusive person. About 2 weeks ago I couldn't take anymore so I packed a case and took myself and the kids to my nieces house. He came home just as we were getting in the cab. He shouted that if I took the kids he would phone the police and inform them I had kidnapped kids. I still left, but only for a few days. when I came home he just told me that I was an awful mother as I had effectively kidnapped the kids- even though about 2 hours after I had left I made sure my daughter phoned him and told him where we were. he also called me a bitch. what should I do my husband never says sorry
I have to be honest he is usually a very good father we have 2 kids and he is a fun and loving. He drives kids to school every morning as I cant as I have to leave for work at 7.oo and I don't drive. my problems are not usually related to his ability to be a good father. However, he is selfish. I have tonnes of paper work in the evening- I am a teacher but will do it downstairs so I am still with the kids. H stays in his room to do his paperwork. he will often to some fun spontaneous activity like taking them both to the cinema on a Sunday morning but most weekends he works. We hardly ever go out anywhere but he manages to go out with his friends about once a week. I know that isn't much but I hardly ever go out without kids and he is not at all interested in making arrangement's for us to go out. He is a man who never admits to being wrong. when I raise any concerns he totally dismisses what I have to say- I tend to raise my voice due to sheer frustration he tells me i am shouting ( when I am not) and then he tells me i am abusive and a nasty person. then he will ignore me for afew days. what should I do I am not happy- went to doctor today and am back on anti depressents - citropram.