When you think a long term friendship is waning

[Paddingtonthebear]

And you are the one who feels they are being "phased out"... Would you say something/confront your friend? Or preserve your dignity and quietly let it go?

No, let it go. Imagine the boot was on the other foot and you had exhausted a relationship with a friend, would you want her to meet you and have a post mortem? The relationship would still most likely go belly up.

In your life you will have had men who dumped you , and men who you dumped. It isn't pleasant to be dumped by any sex but it is better to suck it up, keep silent and move on. It is just life.
Get out and make more female friends. Look forward not back.
Xxx though because it hurts !

Yes that's more or less what I was thinking. Ho hum

I would be tempted to make one last effort to reconnect (not confrontational, just telling her how much you enjoy her time and how you miss her in your life) and then let it go. It may be that she's fighting a battle you don't know about, and this could be the opportunity for her to open up. Or it could be that you've just drifted too far apart to build bridges now.

If she refuses, then it hurts like hell, but it's something you ultimately have to accept. You sound like an awesome friend.

Yeah I've already done the "we don't see each other much anymore, I miss you lets catch up" message, that was last summer and I think I've seen her once maybe twice since then. I've suggested other meet ups but they've not materialised for one reason and another, mostly valid reasons to be fair. But no birthday text for the second year in a row and no offers to reschedule meet ups. Not much contact in the last couple of years, I think I've been in denial about it really. You'd just think after 20 years it would mean a bit more wouldn't you.

Awwww, yeah, that's not good.

Not knowing more about the situation, it's hard to advise. Maybe she's madly busy. Maybe she's self-absorbed. Maybe she's changed. Maybe she's just struggling? (I know when I get really depressed I become fearful of leaving the house and make all kinds of excuses not to).

Whatever the excuse, it really sucks for you. Maybe reduce contact to a Christmas card with a message saying 'Get in touch if you ever want to meet up, would be lovely to see you!' And find a new friend!

Depends on the friend and the situation, I have some very infrequent friendships where because we all have children/work, meeting up is nigh on impossible but I'd still love to see them if they came my way, opportunity presents itself. Do you not talk on the phone?

Your friendship has run it's course I'm afraid. You have no choice but to just let it go.

This happened with my best friend of 25 years. I tried a couple of times to make a go of it, but unless the friendship happens naturally from both sides it just doesn't work.

Sad, isn't it.