Hi all. I posted at the beginning of Jan that I had told my H that I wanted to end our marriage. He did not take it well, it came as a complete shock apparently (although to no one else!). He is moody, critical, controlling, freeloading & I'd had enough.
Fast forward 6 weeks & we are all still living in the same house. I am still sharing a bed with our DD because "why should he sleep on the sofa, it was my decision so I should suck it up"! We have good days when we get on ok & can have a conversation & bad days when neither of us can stand the sight of each other.
He has said he can't move out until he is financially secure. This has been a bone of contention for the last four years when he started his own business & then sat on his arse & let me pay for everything. So now he needs to be financially secure!!! I've asked him how long he thinks that will take, given the last 4 years of inactivity & he can't tell me.
Last week he went to see some houses, because he couldn't consider getting a flat as "he doesn't tolerate others well"! I know he applied for 1 house but we then had a row after I dared to ask too many questions & was told it is none of my business. Only that he is living here without contributing at all but gets a right cob on if I say he is freeloading.
I have been to see a solicitor who sent him a letter, he didn't talk to me for 3 days after getting it & when he eventually did, because I had changed the wifi password & he accused me of sabotaging his business by denying him wifi(!!), he was so angry he was white & shaking. It is because he doesn't like not being in control of the situation. In the middle of this one our dogs had to be put to sleep & we were both very upset. At one point I tried to comfort him by giving him a hug & he said through gritted teeth "don't touch me". The hate was almost tangible.
I have tried making things uncomfortable. I hid the tea bags, stopped doing his washing, changed the wifi password etc but it just makes life uncomfortable for me & the DC when he is stomping about being moody.
So at the moment it appears I am just going to have to wait for him to go. There is nothing I can do legally. Although as he mainly communicates via the DC I may not find out until he actually goes!
I have started making plans for the house. I've bought a new bed and told him I don't want the one we shared, he can take it. I've told him he can take the sofas as I hate them.
The hardest thing has been that his family have not contacted me in any way since I told them. They know what he is like & their relationship wasn't great because of his behaviour. I was really close to them, it took me a long time to tell him I wanted to split because I didn't want to hurt his Mum. I didn't even get a text when we lost the dog & they know how heartbroken I would have been.
So 6 weeks later, lots of ups & downs, I don't regret my decision as he has proven time & time again in these 6 weeks that I made the right decision although probably about 5 years too late!!! Really hope there is some movement soon.