As a recent MN lurker, I've been inspired by the support & advice offered so wanted to ask 'what would you do'? (I'm in no doubt) In a nutshell, married almost 20yrs with 2DD (early teens). I've put up with so much crap over the years, he had a (supposedly) short lived affair with a work colleague 5 years ago which I regret not booting him out for, he drinks too much, is financially irresponsible (although he does work hard & is trying to be more 'responsible' in that department) and lives for football. To the outside world we are a normal family - I put on my 'cheery' face to work but feel worn down & wonder 'is this it?'. I feel ashamed that I've allowed this to happen as the mother of two girls - I've always tried to shield them but they are old enough to see for themselves the dick that he is e.g. tonight coming in pissed and being verbally abusive to me .. I know what I need to do but cannot afford the house on my own .. sorry this is a bit garbled but needed to vent ...