'Treat people in the same way that they treat you'

[dorisdaydream]

Does anyone do this?

If so, do you think that it makes people treat you in a more respectful way?

No, because snarling "God you're a condescending dick" to your boss is not the best career move.

Seriously though - it has some merit in the idea of reflecting back to people what you get from them, but ultimately it means you can end up taking on very negative characteristics. I prefer to treat everyone with respect as a sort of baseline, but if someone crosses my boundaries I will pull them up assertively but not in a pissy way - no matter if they're being a childish twat.

"What an interesting thing to say. What made you say it?" can be a very effective phrase.

I apply my own personal standards to the way I treat people and I expect to be treated with courtesy if not respect. I don't think I can influence someone if they want to treat me badly but I don't have to tolerate it either.

No that's lowest common denominator thinking.

Rise above bad behavior and try to be better than ignorant people who haven't been brought up properly, who have no manners and courtesy.

If everyone did that the world would be a far nicer place.
If everyone practiced an eye for an eye the world would be horrible

End up treating someone (unintentionally) the way he treated me... (just because i realized it's not how i wanted to be treated...) and really stopped caring...

the outcome came worse than i expected with the statement that i don't know what i want in life...

sometimes people don't see/realize what they do to people or they do it in purpose to annoy/humiliate.

decided for myself to treat everyone equal but again it is down to who I'm ready to/will tolerate ...

No, absolutely not. In the vast majority of cases, treating people as you'd like to be treated is far more effective and when it's not, why would you want to become like them?

Treat people as you'd like to be treated and distance yourself from the ones who treat you badly.

If someone treats me badly, I don't treat them badly in response. I don't ignore though, i do raise the issue.

I am of the personal view that treating people as you wish to be treated is more accurate.

Equally, the way you are treated by others can sway this theory from time to time.

I always go with at the very least the intention to treat people with respect and courtesy.

As a human being, I haven't always succeeded.

Too be quite frank, I have been treated like shit by a handful of people and those people are no longer in my life. End of.

No, keep your own council, follow your own morals and standard. I never lower yourself. You'll always feel better in the long run.

*counsel. Autocorrect fail.

Why are you asking?

No, if someone treated me like crap I wouldn't treat them like crap in return. I'd raise the issue and leave them if needed. I much prefer the stance 'treat others how you would like to be treated'. Even if you have to hurt them by finishing a relationship etc I would still try to do it in a way that I would like it to be done to me (even if I wouldn't like it to be done to me at all if that makes sense )

No, treat people the way you'd like to be treated.

What's happened?

I treat people as I wish to be treated - do as you would be done by. Eye for an eye gets us nowhere

I'm with runred, I treat them how I wish they'd act, not how they do.

I couldn't live life by other people's standards. To treat others as they treat you?? So you would be all over the place, potentially treating everyone differently.

I treat others in ways that feels right to me. That is true to myself, not being led by those around me.

I always naively think that because I am on the whole a decent person, try and say 'yes' as much as I can people would do me the decency to treat me similarly. It has been a real throat punch to realise this is most certainly not the case. SO what to do? Without being a mug (and sometimes this is massively debatable) I carry on trying to be nice. But I think I need to get a bit harder because (whisper) its not really working and there is no heaven.

wifeontherun, seek to become assertive: not aggressive, but finding a way to say 'No' in a nice way and asserting your own needs without trampling al over other people's needs, is really liberating.

I am not saint, and have been known to rise to a provocation, but overall I find being nice (which does not = 'being a mug' IMO) works just fine. Up to a point

Hello Doris

No, treat people as I would hope to be treated myself eg with kindness, respect, honesty, love etc

I have been treated badly by some people, but I have tried to forgive & forget.

You never know when you are going to bump into someone from your past...

I have met people who are angry, bitter & it has eaten them up !

Karma

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Do I practice this? No idea. Hopefully.

Nooooo!

I believe that you should treat everyone with respect and dignity, regardless of their behaviour. And that you should, as far as possible, practice compassion to others. If someone is horrible to you, maybe they are fighting a private battle that you know nothing about.

I do not think that this means that you simple have to 'put up' with anything. You can still make choices about the people you have in your life. If you find someone's behaviour difficult, you can withdraw, but without lashing out.

I kind of see that as the basis of civilization .