Bit of a long one I think, but I'll try to keep it as brief as I can. Sorry if this has been done to death but I couldn't find any relating threads
I separated from my ex husband in March 2013. It was my decision and he took it very badly (understandable). I was desperately unhappy but he seemed to be quite happy to plod along as it was. His behaviour since we split has been damaging at best, and has never improved. He threatened suicide twice, was very hateful and angry, and to this day I don't even have his phone number. All arrangemnets for the children (7&14) are organised through his mum. He won't come to the door to drop them home, won't answer the door at his if I'm dropping them (he pops the door handle and they have to push it open, won't even make eye contact with me ..... Sounds like I'm being petty no doubt, but I know that this is all damaging the kids)
In the last two years there have been dozens of instances of selfish/damaging behaviour. I'm telling you this so that you have a little bit of insight into how he has coped so far with the separation, which may explain my feelings of unease and worry over what comes next
Ok so moving on to the current day. We have a joint mortgage and I have paid that on my own since July 2013 (he moved out March 2013)
He hasn't paid a penny since then, neither towards the mortgage nor maintenance for the children. He does see them regularly, and despite the way he handles drop offs/collections he is a good dad and they adore him.
I know that he doesn't want to hurt them, he just doesn't know how to control his emotions
I have a new partner, I met her (yes. Her) a few months after my split. We have been together for 17 months. My eldest child is aware of the relationship and has been incredibly mature about it. I'm very proud. We haven't discussed it with my youngest yet. My eldest is concerned about getting ribbed at school, and we decided that perhaps my youngest might not be the most descreet person to know!
We are talking about the day that we live together, and have thought that maybe in a years time we would like to take that step. (My eldest will be off to college at that point and the pressure of his exams will be over, plus he will be out of the school environment)
My children are everything me, I have made every decision during this horrible time with their happiness at the forefront. Everything is carefully thought out and I guess that maybe I'm over thinking some things. I don't know. Anyhow .....
We anticipate that my ex will be very unhappy with the decision to live together and therefore do anything in his power to stop this from happening
I cannot afford to have the mortgage on my own and I do not wish for my new partner to join me on the existing mortgage (for her own financial protection)
What I need to know:
Can he stop her from moving in?
Can he just come back and live here if he wants to?
Can he insist that I sell the house?
Basically, can he do anything vindictive to stop us from being together?
I may have given random info that's not required here, but I guess some background is required to have some understanding of my nervousness of the whole thing.
I would really appreciate some advice, either from people with the legal know how, or from people who may have found themselves in a similar situation
Thanks :)