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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I was in an abusive marriage, but I'm not afraid anymore.

3 replies

BeeOrchid2 · 16/02/2015 01:02

Hello to any of my lovely supporters who remember me. I left MN suddenly in December because I was afraid my in laws had found my thread & I didn't feel safe.
Things have changed a lot & I'm confident about posting again.
My divorce is underway, I'm starting a course to brush up my IT skills & I'm coping.
I've had some bad news about my son's health though. It seems the surgery he had in 2013 may not have sorted out his pancreas problems and now he's in a much worse condition. Basically he's been told that he "can't afford" to get recurrences of pancreatitis and if he does he will "have a struggle". He's just had another bout of pancreatitis, there's nothing he can do to prevent it, so I am very afraid for him. Pancreas probs caused by congenital defect, not alcohol, BTW. My son is in his 20s.
VSTBXH is mostly concerned about himself, so no change there. He has kept to our financial agreement and is so far being generous. He is not a well man, but that isn't my concern, as my counsellor tells me.
I hope some of you are still about, not at this time of night, that's not usually for good reasons. You all made the difference between me coping with VSTBXH's appalling behaviour or me cracking up under the strain.
Things haven't been easy, but they have been so much better than an abusive marriage. X

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 16/02/2015 01:31

I remember you. I am glad you are in a better place re. your marriage but very sorry to hear about your son Thanks

BeeOrchid2 · 16/02/2015 01:39

Thanks AnyFucker. At least I don't have to tiptoe round VSTBXH now. It really sapped my energy and made everything else hard to cope with. Abusive people are energy and emotion vampires.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 16/02/2015 01:44

amen to that

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