Hi all - this is possibly an AIBU but I prefer the relationships board for measured advice and genuinely want to know if my expectations are too high without having it beaten over my head if it turns out I am.
My dd2 who is 2 years old was recently hospitalized following a trip to A&E. This is the second time in 3 weeks. She is thankfully at home and doing ok but it was very serious. It seems there is an underlying chronic (possibly life long) condition which exacerbated things but hopefully now we know what we're dealing with we will be able to get it under control to avoid further hospital admissions. We are still kind of in shock over the whole thing and have found the last few weeks incredibly stressful.
After the first emergency admission we had a few texts from some of my husband's siblings to ask how things were, which I really appreciated. The second time (which was actually more serious and required a longer stay) - nothing from any of them (large family). They do know about it through MIL. DD2 is an absolute dote, very affectionate and friendly. When we see my husband's siblings they always rave over how cute she is. Not fond enough of her to enquire after her during a serious illness though? Am I expecting too much? I know everyone has busy lives and their own stresses but how much effort is a text? We are not particularly close but get on well enough.
My own parents (and to a lesser extent my siblings) have been amazing and I am very grateful for that. But to be honest when we were in hospital I would really have appreciated a few messages of support from my husband's siblings (some of whom have kids of similar age) - I think that is the least I would have done for them.
Don't get me started on my own friends - I didn't bother telling them about the second episode after I found them fairly disinterested in the details of the first 3 weeks ago (one has a dc the same age and I have known her 20 years, so expected a bit more). I wonder if maybe people are uncomfortable talking about serious illness in children, particularly if they have their own? But to be honest at times I really just wanted a sympathetic ear. There were some lonely, scary times in the hospital (I have a wonderful DH but would have appreciated someone else to let it all out with). I think I just need to talk about it to get over the shock of it all.
Am I expecting too much from my friends and family?