Hand holding needed so I don't reply

[thereisonlyteatodrink]

Hello
Broke up with my OH last night. Details are too long to go into, it wasn't a particularly healthy relationship sometimes due to his MH issues, but I loved him with all my heart, and I believe he loved me too.
This time yesterday we were happy, so complete bolt from the blue, brought on by his excessive alcohol intake last night, not keeping to prior arrangements and him spending his evening with someone who caused issues in the past.
I'm just so sad. Received texts to say sorry etc and I so want to suggest we try again, but that will fall on deaf ears so trying to retain some dignity and not reply
But all I want is for him to hold me again
Could do with some support please

Hi, anyone in real life that can give you some support?

Do you live together? Are you safe?

No you weren't 'happy' this time yesterday. This time yesterday you were in a dysfunctional relationship with someone with issues. By your own admission the relationship wasn't healthy.

You may love him but so what. If it's not working then it's not working. If you get back together you'll always be waiting for the next time something like this happens.

We don't live together and I am safe, thank you. My children (18 and 21) are so supportive and really good to me. And no, I guess we can't have been that happy or this wouldn't have happened. But I thought we were, it certainly felt that way.
Everything reminds me of him. My children are moving out in July, this relationship was my future. I can't imagine life without the three of them, I'm going to be so lonely.

Sorry but this guy has slept with someone else, why would you want to hold him?
I'm sorry you're in this situation but you can't put up with this just because you're scared of being alone. Being alone doesn't have to be a negative thing. In time you'll see. You'll disappoint your kids aswell.
He's not kept to arrangements and gone out on the lash. He's disrepectful. This happened to me. He finished it in the end and looking back I'm so glad he did.
Don't text him.

It's normal to fear loneliness. Filling the gap with someone you know is a bad choice, however, is storing up future problems. If you start now and make a concerted effort to build up your social life, make new friends and reorganise your life so that it's got plenty of people in it, you'll have a better future than if you call this loser because you're desperate.
Good luck

Sometimes love just isn't enough. There are other ingredients that your relationship is lacking and after a while they become glaringly obvious. Trust and respect. No relationship is happy without them.

I think if something is hopeless, like this man sounds you just need to soldier on, very hard but not impossible.

I can't see myself soldiering on. No relationship is perfect,I knew what the flaws in ours were and I was okay with them.
And he didn't sleep with someone else, he just spent time with them when he had arranged to meet me.

Type out your reply. Do not do this on your phone. Do not send them.

Then, start planning your new future. Start a thread on MN asking for a sounding board and support in planning your new future.

You seem to be defending your relationship?

Why end it then defend it? That will achieve nothing. It's pointless viewing it with rose tinted glasses because if it was all roses and delight it wouldn't have you feeling like the way you are right now.