feeling rubbish

[gonegirlagain]

Hi all
am hoping you wise women can advise me?
I left a relationship early last year I felt I had no choice- substance abuse that was never addressed, I was forced to leave the house as he would not go.
I coped really well I thought for the first nine months of this, got myself a place to stay with children and just basically got on with it all.
Then I started on line dating and seem to have swung from disaster to disaster! I was priding myself on coping well and getting on with it all and right now I almost feel back to square one! feeling lonely..
I know that im not just grabbing the first man who pays me any attention as soon after split with ex partner I started seeing a guy he was lovely but I just knew he wasnt right me for for the long run so I ended it. Felt pretty bad in doing it also!!
I know to doing on line dating requires a thick skin which Ive not got. Also that it can be a numbers game and the right timing etc..but I didnt expect it too be so hard !
Im also in a shit postion with finances of late as our house hasnt yet sold so am stressed about that as at least if I had some equity it would give me a little more choice.. Cant claim any housing benefit as I have equity in the property which really will not be that much.
Also ex is messing about over child support claiming we do shared care of our duaghter.. In reality he does two nights a week!
Ahhh very stressed any wise words xx

Not sure about wise words but you have my sympathy. It's a bold step to ditch something you know isn't right, accepting that there will be sacrifices as a result. Wonder if dating is really the right remedy if, as you say, you don't have that ruthless streak? If you're lonely might it be an idea to expand your social circle to include more people of all genders in a more friendly, sociable, non-romantic way to begin with? Shore up your support network, keep the costs down, minimise the potential for heartache?

Thanks cog wise advice there. I do have a great set of female mates but of course they are mainly coupled up.. I work so am busy but yes I should maybe through myself into keeping fit and different classes..

Think once my house finally sells that will ease things a bit.. Any one know how to magic up money though ??

Hi well am going to sign up for more exercise classes, make efforts to go out with friends more..
Anyone got any other ideas to quell the lonely feelings. I'm not normally like this and realise it's a phase it's just so rubbish !

Hi gonegirlagain, I'm in a similar position in that since I split with ex almost a year ago I have virtually no social life. I haven't had the courage to try OLD, my skin is definitely not thick enough .
I recently started an open university degree and although it's distance learning, I still meet class mates during tutorials, only had one so far but they seem like a nice bunch and I'm sure the more we all meet up and chat in the forums about the course I will make some friends. That's the most important thing to me, I just want to expand my social circle rather than meet someone to have a relationship with, tbh a fwb would suit me better than a full on relationship, after 20 years with my ex I am enjoying doing what I want and not having to constantly check with him, although with a 4yo ds it's not like I can go out whenever I want , the ex never sees our ds so he's with me 24/7.
The gym sounds like a good idea, you could also try meetups or an evening class if you have the time, volunteering is another option of you have time.
Once you get the house sold and your in a better financial situation I am sure you will feel a bit better, being skint on top of everything else is bound to make you feel a bit shit, I know it does me.
Forgot to mention, there is a Facebook group called MN Social where quite a few mners chat and arrange meet ups in person, I'm sure there will be someone who lives in your area, might be worth a look.