Please Help

[startrek90]

Reposted here as I know you guys will know what to do.

I live in germany but am English speaking.

I have a little baby and I can't cope. I feel useless and pathetic and guilty. My DH and DS need someone better. I don't now how to snap out of this.

Today I actually looked up how to kill myself. I am too scared to tell anyone in case they take DS. Please give me advice? I feel like I am ruining everything for my family by being down.

I've read your other thread.

Is there any excuse you could use to come back to the UK for a breather with your DS? One of your DPs being sick, your sister needing you etc. is there anyone you could stay with?

You've got to see a doctor as quickly as possible. I don't know whether this is helpful, but catastrophising is one symptom of depression and it really sounds like that may be part of what's going on.

You need some help from your husband too. Have you tried to explain just how bad you're feeling?

I have but I don't think he 'gets' it. He just aks me what to do and I don't have a clue

I second going to see your GP.

I think you need to be really gentle with yourself. Having a baby is such a strange thing. The first year is very difficult.

Their is no one more qualified to look after your baby then you. Your baby loves you and you are doing a good job.

Take everything one step at a time. One day at a time.

Please do get hold of a GP and tell them that you are suicidal. You're obviously suffering some kind of acute mental distress, you need medical help and neither of those facts necessarily make you a bad mother. Just a mother who is ill.

Hope you get the help you need

Hi there. It is hard with little babies. They are so all-consuming and seem to give little back, sometimes. It definitely gets better, though.

Where I am in Germany there are various family support services for people who may be struggling for whatever reason. It can help so much just for someone to listen, even if you are not sure what kind of concrete support you may need. Did you have a midwife visiting you at any time? There'a also special clinics for crying/colicky babies if that's a stress.

Do you want to say /PM where abouts you are so we can help look up stuff? Or just have a chat on here? How old is DS? Is your DP German or English-speaking?

Bless you. It must be very hard living in another country when you have a baby. Please go to doctor and tell them you have PND and need help. You will get betterx

I also think you need to see a GP.

I read your other thread and worried you may be suffering from PND. You are being really hard on yourself and sound very desperate for some help.

Please seek an appointment asap

Another vote for going to see a doctor asap. Good luck, things will get better.

Ah, caught up on your other thread and now understand a bit more what the pressures are. Do you feel you are expected to perform a role for your DH and PILs, the perfect wife and mother and Sunday school leader and pillar of the community and and and...?

I know it's hard to say 'screw them', but think of it this way: your baby is your family now. DS is your number 1, and you are more than good enough for HIM. You're the best person in the world for him, and that's what counts. So as to anyone Else having expectations of you: screw 'em

Do you have a GP currently, would you like one that speaks English? Or you can still contact a midwife practice if you like, they can visit you up to at least 6 months pp. They'll be experienced with PND too. Would it be helpful for someone else to explain things to DH, does he assume you'll cope because you always have?

Are there any pastoral care type people in the church who are, how shall I say, NOT your ILs? I feel like you could do with an advocate in your corner to tell the rest of them to back off and leave you be to enjoy your baby.