Heartbroken. Can we have a thread about getting over someone and finding happiness?

[WhereIsTheWayOut]

I am in love with someone I work with. We hit it off and had a close relationship but not romantic, they don't feel the same way as I do, for a while I thought they did but then went a bit distant. They still said they loved me as a friend. I don't even know if they know the way I feel about them. I hoped I could control my feelings and still enjoy spending time working together. We are both freelancers who teamed up for certain projects.

However, it has all been getting unbearable for a while and I can't cope any more, so this week I told them I'm not available to work with them again. This means I won't get to see them which is the best thing I know. It really hurts though.

I will be ok but right now am terrified I will not find somebody I love this much ever again. I hate that I am feeling this sad over someone who I didn't even have a sexual relationship with, who was never my partner. I've been on my own anyway, so why does it feel suddenly like I'm alone?

Anyone care to share stories of unrequited love or love gone wrong, and then finding somebody who you loved just as much or more, and who matched it with their own love for you?

It does seem very complicated Whereis.

Could you take the bull by the horns, ask him if he'd like a lunchtime drink and at that meeting, talk about what a great rapport the two of you have and that it would be a shame to let it go to waste.

You said in a previous post that you both used to say you love each other. I don't think that was him unintentionally giving you mixed messages was it? That was a definite and intentional message!

Thanks, Daisychain.

I'm having a think and seeing if I could possibly get the courage together to extend an invitation...

We did say we loved each other (and not when drunk either ) but it was never clear what way he meant it, and I'll hold my hands up and say I never made it that clear either the way I meant it. I hinted at it and thought he knew. Maybe he does but who knows.

The way he used to look at me, listen to me and chat with me about everything, I felt so loved.

Bugger. Namechanged as mentioned childhood abuse on other thread - sod it.

"How many times have you seen a couple before they get together and there are chemical sparks flying everywhere - and your friend (one of the two) is all " I don't think he likes me. Do you think he likes me?" and you and the universe are all chorusing "Are you blind? The chemistry is of the scale. Of course he likes you".

At times like this, friends and everyone should assist the couple by locking them both in a cupboard/back of van/anywhere alone and dark, to sort it out; a game of Dustman's Knock might do the trick.

Hey movingonup this definitely calls for an update

Think of it like this, imagine if you and he didn't talk things through and you let a good thing "whither on the vine", what a waste!

Let us know if you decide to ask him for a chat. Either way, I am sure you won't regret it, at least it will resolve the matter once and for all!