Started Divorce how did you tell him?

[1Cheesedoff]

OMG - I done it ....solicitors ..Monday -marriage cert- and cheque- should be divorced in 3 months. Next hurdle- having the guts to tell him.

In one way cant wait to say it another way cant bear to hurt him. He haven't given a stuff about my feelings (he haven't spoke for 8 months apart from when I try and get to him to talk he says "haven't got to listen to this shit) or " its easier not to talk to you". Charming.

I just said "you're not going to like this but I started divorce proceedings a couple of days ago". Don't know why I felt bad as he had treated me like crap.

My solicitor sent STBX an email.

STBX wasn't at our home and wouldn't reveal his address.

Two friends of my father. (Second marriage, mature people, both with their own and separate substantial assets - so maybe not typical. ) In bed of a Saturday morning having breakfast, reading the papers and opening the post.

Wife opens letter. (From solicitor as it turns out.)

'Darling......you're divorcing me!'

'Yes, Darling ......I am. Could you pass that butter?'

Sorry - but that's always tickled me. And it was an extremely amicable split.

You just have to pluck out the words from somewhere deep inside you and do it. It's not much fun albeit necessary.

Why bother telling him? He can't be bothered, and neither should you be. Sounds like you made a good move getting rid of him, he sounds awful.

Good luck

Why would you care about the feelings of someone who speaks to you like that. Just say "I've started divorce proceedings." Play it by ear from then on.

I'm with longdistance on this one. Why bother saying anything to him? He'll see that he's being divorced once he gets the papers. Or else just say "I've filed for divorce" and walk away. Ignore his reaction, if he even has one. You don't owe him anything. He hasn't talked to you in 8 months and treats you badly.

No guilt here. Push it away. No reason at all for you to feel bad.

Make sure everything is in order & all your paperwork is a) sorted and b) in a safe place out of the house before telling him. He may say he doesn't care about you, but one thing he IS likely to care about is you having the temerity to leave him when it isn't particularly his decision.

So there's a fair chance he will do his utmost to screw up your plans for the simple reason that it's something you want, and destroying or taking paperwork is an easy way to do that.

And if there's any chance whatsoever that he could turn nasty, make sure there's someone else about when you do tell him!

Next time he says something like that, say 'I don't either which is why I'm relieved I'm divorcing you!'