Dating

[witchy5]

Hi, having some last minute nerves i think but anyhow opinions would be good...Never done the dating thing before anyway....I've met someone on an online dating site, we have been 'chatting' for about a month now, spoken on the hone a couple of times and finally met up for lunch this week. He now wants to spend this afternoon and evening/night with me, made it very clear although not pushy, and has booked us a room away.

To begin with I thought it was fun and good to get to know someone who has similar interests etc, today I have woken up (having agreed to meet for a walk and dinner and 'see how it goes' making it clear I am unsure about spending the night together) feeling very nervous and actually not entirely sure why but it's not sitting quite right.

So, really is this normal dating procedure and should I go with my nerves and back out or just take it bit by bit....sorry but as I have not discussed it with anyone it would be good to know an opinion.

Thank you

I think it's a bit presumptuous and quick and I wouldn't go away with someone I don't really know for a night away from home. Have a few more dates first before you jump into anything

The only rule with dating is that you are entitled to take it at your own speed. If you are not comfortable with spending the night together tell him straight. Don't feel pressured into anything you're unhappy with. You are in control. You have the right to say 'no thanks'.

FWIW I also think booking a room sounds pretty cheeky. Online dating full of people just looking for a bunk up....

Thank you, much appreciated. I have to say it does feel too fast, I have to learn to say without worrying about how the other person feels. Thank you

Too fast!
Fine if you are on board but he does seem to be rushing.
I did a lot of online dating (did meet my current partner online and we are getting married in a couple of months!)
I enjoyed it to some extent but chat to lots of people and go on lots of dates - I found everyone I met had something interesting to say even if I knew it wouldn't go anywhere. I don't worry about offending anyone, slow things down or put a complete stop if it doesn't feel right.
When I made contact with 'the one' it was different from the start and just 'worked'
There are some real diamonds out there but cast your net wide :-))

Thank you, really needed to talk this out a bit! I have contacted him and said what I feel, it is too fast, feel awful stepping out at the last minute but I really have to learn to go with how I feel. :-))

Definitely don't worry about hurting someone's feelings. This is your life, your heart and your self respect. Your wishes trump other people's

Cancel and move on. He'll dump you after you've had sex with him anyway.

How did you feel on the lunch? This seems way too fast way too soon and alarm bells would be ringing for me, unless it was mutually instigated/agreed/wanted IYSWIM.