Worried about DH's weight

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Before I start I should state that I am NOT fat shaming. Have name changed for this as I don't want to be outed in rl as this would humiliate DH.

My DH was very slim when we first got together. However over the past few years he's been putting on weight at an alarming rate. I still think he is incedibly handsome and I love him just as much as I always have but I'm very worried about his health. I have no idea how much weight he's actually gained but it's approx 4 stone in under 3 years.
I know this can't be good for him and I don't want to lose him, but he can be quite sensitive about things like this and I don't want to hurt him. I just want us to have a long healthy life together.

I've tried suggesting a healthier diet and more exercise numerous times. He agrees at the time and sticks to it for a couple of days but he will be back on the sugary snacks by the end of the week.

How do I tell him he needs to lose weight without being hurtful? Also, how do I convince him to stick to it?

He's an adult. It's not your business or your body.

Hi Op.

Fat people know they're fat, so your DH - unless incredibly stupid - knows he has a problem, and he knows you know.

As a former skinny who got fat, I was very aware of it and aware I wasn't the same person - physically - that DH fell in love with.

The best thing he does is be kind, supportive of my diets while I'm on them and do the healthy eating thing with me.

I would both do something like MyFitnessPal, meal plan and make really tasty but low calorie food. And maybe get pedometers (like fitbit?) and both track your steps. No sugary snacks in the house. Find other social things to do that don't involve food and drink. And you do it too. I think you can talk to him about how you want you both to be happy and healthy. When he falls off the wagon, encourage him to get back on it at the next meal

And worth checking he is happy - he's not stressed or comfort eating is he?

So you can tell him he's fat but do it in a kindly way.

I'm sure others will have different advice - tell it like it is, leave him if he doesn't change etc etc but I just don't think that works.

Good luck!

^ I forgot the 'it's not your body' thing

That may well be his view, but it's normal and right to care about the ones you love.

He's not on any tablets like AD's is he? I gained four stone on them :0

Evil little blighters.

itsbetterthanabox

I know it's not my body, but surely it's ok to care about the health of your loved ones.

oliveinthemartini

Those suggestions sound brilliant. thank you

He definitely wants to loose some weight as he believes it's causing a lot of pain in his knees. Im currently trying to loose quite a bit myself so I think we'll try the apps out together.

As for the cause, he has an extremely stressful job and he tends to comfort eat during his breaks and when he gets home. I would suggest a career change but, although stressful, he adores his work and it's nice that after a string of bad jobs he's doing something he loves.

When I say he's sensitive about these things, I've never brought it up myself - I simply promise to support him when he mentions it and says that it's something that he needs to do. However, his DM is constantly criticising him for his weight (even when he was very slim). She's a lovely woman but doesn't always think before she speaks. Hence why I'm asking how to broach it in a way that won't cause further upset.

ShiaLeBeouf

No he's not on any ADs or any other medication at all.

Hi OP. Former skinny, currently fat here. The real issue is body fat and fitness. I take it he has little time to exercise?

Also, get him to tell his DM to STFU. Works wonders for self esteem.

His DM has already been dealt with to be honest. After she said something particularly cutting he called her on it and pointed out how nasty it was. She simply did a cats bum mouth and hasn't said anything since. Hes never had a problem telling her, or anyone else, to fuck off whenever they over stepped the line.

He has next to no time to exercise. He's certainly not lazy but the little time he does have in the evenings he spends with the DC. However, before he left for work this morning he asked me if I would be in next week as he's having a cross-trainer delivered (doesn't have time to go to the gym). He's clearly much more pro-active about this than I gave him credit for.

I'm a bloke. Although I'm not a great sugary snacks, sweets etc. eater I do enjoy my food. I cut out potatoes and bread for a month before Christmas and lost quite a few pounds.
I did a course a few years ago through the NHS and the local pro football club. It educated me more on food than a 'normal' diet. More about controlling how you eat not the calorific content. Decent breakfast, small snack (apple,carrot etc) mid morning, reasonable lunch, small snack mid afternoon and then I didn't really need a large evening meal. And of course, I wasn't then going to bed on a full stomach. It was called Fitfans. Not available down here now but I'm sure there was a club/group running in the North
I wish you and your OH luck

It's not your business

If he expects her to have sex with his body, then of course its her business on a purely physical level. The health of your partner is your business any way.

Can you make a change to your routine to introduce some exercise at the same time as having a diet change when he is eating at home.

I mean things like taking a pre-dinner walk every evening as a family or deciding to walk to the next station on way to work or get off a stop early. That kind of thing. Maybe consider getting/borrowing a dog and getting him to walk it?

Don't think you even need to bring it up by the sounds of it. He's obviously aware of it and sounds like he's doing something about it with the cross-trainer (which imo is one of the best type of home exercise machines you can get)