So confused...

[Lazaretto]

Posted on behalf of sharonx85x due to phone issues.

Hi I have only just joined and apologies if this post is in the wrong place...i don't really know what I'm after or indeed if I am actually after anything other than a rant!! I have been with my husband for 11 years and married for 8 we have 3 children aged 10 7 and 6 months...back in Dec 2013 when I was pregnant my husband left me...he was seeing a woman who was also married.... my husband became really depressed and lost so much weight during this time...he started begging to come home kept telling me he loved me had made the biggest mistake of his life I moved area and had him back to live with me April 19th 2014...everything had been going as well as it could and I never thought I would say this but in a strange way his affair brought us closer than we was before...i remembered we wasn't just mum and dad!! Then Dec 2014 my husband recieced a email from the other woman saying she was pregnant.. it was his and it was due 6th Feb 2015...so we did some quick calculations and we worked out for the due date she would have conceived around may 16th and I know for a fact he hasn't seen her since April 19th so that proves he isn't the dad doesn't it?! Her phone number was on the email so he phoned her and was like what's this email about why are you saying I'm the dad...she point blank denied she had sent it said someone must of hacked her...one of my mates is friends with her on facebook and she told me the same day my husband spoke to the other woman put a status up saying that someone had hacked her account and was sending stuff to people but it really wasn't her...so she had the baby 11th Feb so I guess I'm just wondering does anyone think this baby could be my husbands....or if its just someone trying to cause trouble?! If you get this far and could try and help me I would be most grateful!! x

Thank you lazaretto!

Is he going to have a DNA test done?

Working on the basis that cheats tend to be very, very accomplished liars, I've got no doubt he could be the father. Realise you want to think everything went back to normal precisely on the date he claimed, but he could easily have found time for a few 'swansong' shags and you'd have been none the wiser.

Expect it'll take a DNA test if he wants to dispute the paternity.

I know for a fact that they haven't seen each other since the 19th of April...we moved over 3 hours away and he doesn't drive!

He did ask her about a dna test when he spoke to her about the email and all she kept saying was she never even said he was the dad and never sent the email!

Maybe she drives.?.

She says the baby isn't his. You and he believe it would be impossible anyway due to dates. So is that not enough? The email could have been from her husband looking for a bit of payback I would have thought.

He's been with me all the time apart from work...and I know he's there because he works with my brother! You are right we don't believe it is his from the dates guess I'm just worried that I had worked the dates our wrong but I have been over and over it and keep coming back to the same dates!

Is it not monumentally embarrassing to have this whole sorry mess played put by what sounds like the world and his wife via the sensitive medium of Facebook? Is that why you moved so far away?

Cogito... I don't believe it's been sounded out on Facebook. She said that the woman had posted a status advising friends that her account had been hacked and the hacker was sending messages on her behalf. It doesn't state that the status eluded to the content of those messages.

Of course its embarrassing having it all played out on facebook...all though I'm not on there....but even more embarrassing is knowing I failed as a wife....thanks for your input...oh yeah moved to be closer to family

That was meant to say of course it would be embarrassing having it all played out over facebook...the only status that I am aware of is the one that says she had been hacked

I may have missed half a story here but I fail to see where you have 'failed as a wife'.
You stayed home to raise a family you and he created together, he went out to play? And you failed as a wife.
I get that you've moved on from that and you're trying to salvage the marriage, but I hate that you would think that about yourself anyway.

I know it sounds stupid and you are right we did create our family together I just feel like I forgot we were a couple all we were was mum and dad...maybe if I hadn't he wouldn't of cheated

Oh please, stop blaming yourself for his shitty behaviour, nothing you can do can make someone do that, they have their own free will you know, he made his choices, he's a cheat and a liar and I am sorry but it all sounds far too easy to say the dates don't match, he had an affair you knew nothing about, I assume he was lying to you regularly, what's to stop him lying about if he saw her or not, seriously, I bet the chances are it is his child, maybe the OW knows now what a deadbeat he is and is actually trying to hide the fact he is the dad.

This is a man that cheated on you and walked out on you and 3 kids and you wonder if it's all your fault, get real.

Thanks.