School gate feelings

[Tightjeans]

I just wanted a bit of advice. My child had some issues at school which I wanted to keep "private" but they have got out to all the Mums at the school gate (I won't go into details)
I have never really liked the whole school gate thing and have always felt very different from them etc. But now I feel very isolated and some of them are openly saying lies about me and my family and "turning" other mums against me.
I am quite happy to ignore the whole thing (although I am sad about it) and not be friends with the other Mums and just say hello but will that affect my children? Do I need to be friends with other mums to make their time at school happier?

I don't think so. If you can be on civil terms with them it will easier when it comes to sorting out friends coming round after school. I have 2 dc at primary and am only friends with 2 mums and on pleasant terms with the parents of dc friends.

Sorry you have had a tough time

I'd agree all that is needed is to be on civil terms with your DC's friends parents. I have no school gate friends. There are parents I will chat to, but that is all. DS still has good friends at school, and they are always happy to come over to play when we invite them.

Thank you that makes me feel better. I can be friendly and say hello and hopefully my children's frendships won't be affected. Thank you for your help

Never spoke to anyone at school gate.DC fine with plenty of friends. My advice keep out of it. Wear earphones

As long as you can keep up the friendly hellos then you'll be fine. The DCs tend to go their own way - my youngest has had the same "best friend" for about 6 years now; I've never been friends with the BF's mother. I don't dislike her - I just don't really have anything in common with her. It's made no difference at all to the DCs - they just get on with it.

Don't worry too much about it.

There can be a lot of politics and a fair few cliques at the school gates. Just maintain a civil facade, say hello when necessary etc. and that is all that is required. Then, just do your own thing.

I did have some good friends at drop-off and pick-up in the school playground. You soon realise who your real friends will be, and see who amongst the parents will be the shit stirrers.

Actually, I was rather glad when my daughters had all reached an age where I was happy for them to walk to and from school by themselves. One is at uni now. The younger two are at secondary school, so really at the age where they consider that parents are not cool pets to have around.

Suits me. I no longer have to do school runs except to pick up from an after school club because they won't be able to get the bus.

The school gates are worse than the school yard from what I have seen, and remember from my school days.
It's funny how you see this cliques and then people drop in and out of favour with them over time.
I have known mums to stop talking to other mums because they are friends of other mums who they have fallen out with.
All very childish.

Ok, remember soon this will blow over and be yesterday's news (to them), a lot of parents who get involved with this actually don't want to, or don't care!

Also you for every one domineering, annoying school gate mum, there are 10 normal, quiet ones just wanting to pick their kids up

I agree to being polite and civil, dignified, smiley and quiet

Do you have to interact at the school gates?

My mother used to come to pick me up by car and wait in the car for me usually in the same spot outside the school. I've adopted this too with my children.

Avoids the issue.