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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Separation

2 replies

Localdave · 10/02/2015 21:16

Hi
I'm new to this type of thing, but here goes!
I have been with my wife for 33 years and after finding out that she had had affairs and sexual encounters with other men over the past 3 years, my first reaction was devastation and we separated for a few months. We then got back together and started seeing a councillor. However after 10 months I am still asking questions about what went on and we have now decided to separate. Can't help thinking am I making the right decision. She is truly sorry, upset and remorseful for what she has done but I cannot stop thinking about what she has done and now think that the best thing to do is to separate.

Anyone got similar stories and how they have either moved on or not.

Dave

OP posts:

wigglylines · 11/02/2015 00:15

LocalDave I don't have a similar story but I didn't want to leave your post unanswered.

I'd suggest you repost in the Relationships section as there's much more traffic there, and lots of helpful people in my experience.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 11/02/2015 10:34

The problem with infidelity is that it introduces mistrust. Relationships can survive a lot of problems IMHO but mistrust can be incredibly damaging and long lasting. Even if the cheat is remorseful and does their best to make amends, even if there is counselling full openness and so on, the danger is that feeling of 'what are they not telling me?' persisting. Some people manage to set it to one side and carry on with a changed version of the relationship. Others find they can't set it aside.

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