newbie help with POF

[fairgame]

Just signed up to POF and wondered if anyone can help me out.
I've been on Match a few years ago and on there you could select the age range and body type etc of the man you wanted to meet. Can you do the same on POF? I can't anywhere where you can and i'm already getting messages of significantly older men.
Also if someone messages you and you're not interested, what is the correct etiquette? Are you supposed to reply and politely say no thanks or do you just ignore?

If you click edit profile and scroll to the bottom you can limit who can message you according to age and gender.

Ah i will have a look. Thanks Dolly

I was on pof on and off for years and I just blocked the odd bods!! I loved it though and met my dp on there and had a few dates with lovely blokes before him but there were lots of strange ones too. As pp said there's an option on your profile to edit who can message you. Good luck!!

You can also set parameters for searching e.g. distance, age, education, only photos etc

I have my own question about POF. Reactivated my POF profile today. I've received several xx wants to me you notifications but no messages. Is this normal and what's the best way to respond to any I like?

There is a 'meet me' (or something similar) tab near the top where you can click yes, no or maybe to a list of men that comes up. The men obviously have the same feature and you will randomly pop up on their meet me page. If a man clicks 'yes' they would like to meet you then it notifies you. You can then decide whether to message them or ignore.

Thanks Fairgame. That's helpful to know

I'm starting to think POF is some sort of tolerance/endurance test. Loads of blokes with photo's of themselves half naked - no thanks!
Found a nice looking bloke and his profile is massive rant about women who don't reply to his messages and only want blokes with tattoo's - he clearly isn't 'down to earth'.
Then another bloke whose tagline something like 'I want a friend with benefits not a girlfriend on benefits' -
I did start messaging one bloke who appeared normal but now appears very needy. I caused a gap in messages by taking my tea out of the oven (so gone for about 4-5 minutes) and he was messaging saying 'have i put you off', 'aren't you interested anymore'. Jeez i need to eat!!
Are all of the OD sites like this or are some of the paid ones better?

Paid sites tend to be better as you don't get so many timewasters who basically just want to have an assisted wank but never actually meet.

I have found OKCupid better than POF.

In terms of replying it's damned if you do, damned if you don't, but at least if you do and they're rude, you can screenshot the convo and submit it to #ByeFelipe on Instagram, which is hilarious

I'm still undecided about replying. Some of the blokes have really taken time to right a nice message and i feel bad for not replying but you never know how they will take it if you reply saying 'you're not really what i'm looking for'. Judging by the numerous ranty profiles, i'm not in a minority by not replying!

I think its rude not to reply,

Just something simple like "Thanks for the message, not really what I am looking for but goodluck"

Well. I've just had a look on POF and the first one up's headline says "What a load of old shit"

[shuts down window]
[turns of computer]
[burns down house]

I will make sure i reply then 850pro. I'm still new to it all and don't want to come across as rude by not replying. Especially when some of them have clearly taken time to write a nice message.

I'm now trying POF as I feel I've exhausted most online options. I had 9 dates in 6 weeks before Christmas but no one seems to be contacting me anymore on Match and Eharmony even when I contact them first. Whenever I read articles online it says about women receiving hundreds of messages on Match. But maybe that's more related to the US as it's not been my experience?

One friends suggested I try Elite Singles which is a bit more like Eharmony but I'm loathe to pay out on another online subscription.

I did match a few years ago and had 2 dates in a month. The first date was great but after he was really clingy and texting me all of the time and it felt a bit possessive. The second guy hardly spoke on the date. It was really awkward.
I didn't get loads of messages on match but i'm getting loads on POF but none of them really float my boat. My best friend has always said i'm too picky and i think she might have a point. I might have to lower my expectations a little from a David Beckham lookalike
I'm sure i tried eharmony once and it took ages to fill in the forms then it wouldn't let me see pictures of my matches until i paid!

I used POF. It has a lot of traffic and online dating is a numbers game. However, I found that I got a lot of dick pics and people who were not necessarily after a relationship. I also felt "on display" in a way I wasn't comfortable with.

As a result and after trying a few others - match, OKCupid, eHarmony, match affinity, I tried a different approach on POF. I hid my profile so no one could search me and took matters into my own hands. I messaged people that I felt I wouldn't mind going on a date with and that way I knew that if I got a reply, it would in theory be from someone I wanted to engage with. Not foolproof...but I quickly got a few responses, one of which was from my now DP, who I went on a date with and the rest as they say is history!

Well last night i got a message on POF from my ex who i split up with at new year. I didn't know he was on there.
I've hid my profile but i don't know if that will make me disappear from him because he already messaged me. He says he has blocked me but i can still see him.
I think i definitely need a different site now and will do your approach blastedchickens then he can't 'accidently' find me again.