How to deal with incredibly anxious sister

[Nameochangeo1234567]

My sister is 29 and has a lovely 2 month old Ds. However she has become extermily anxious about everything and is obsessed over something being wrong with him. I know I'll probably get flamed for posting this but when your getting called constantly over things it becomes your business. Things she says includes :

He is not standing on his legs (At 2 months!!) therefore she believes he will never walk.
He cries allot therefore he has reflux, dr says he hasn't got reflux therefore he has colic (according to her)
He puts his hands in his mouth so he's teething (this is from 2 weeks old, she also told me she can feel a tooth - right at the back of his mouth, at 2 weeks old)
She says his bones are always clicking (I've never heard this) and therefore he is going to have arthritis
He coughs and he's got ashma.

She calls me constantly complaining of this things, I've said not to worry and the dr has told her he is fine. I have stayed over and spent allot of time with them and her ds is a bit moany sometimes but nothing out of the ordinary at all!

She just can't accept that sometimes babies cry! She keeps saying 'oh I can't wait till he can have calpol' and I know she'll be dosing him up all the time!! Any advice as to how to deal with this?

Oh OP, I think it's probably quite normal for people to overreact like this at the start. It's all so overwhelming and new. It's important not to make her feel like she's lacking in skills or nous, as that will likely make things worse. Don't rubbish her views or worries (even if they do seem ridiculous from the outside) - be sympathetic, but keep guiding her gently back to the fact that he's OK, he's healthy, there's nothing wrong, and she's doing a great job. I suspect that as the weeks go by, she'll gain confidence and he'll stop being an invalid!

It might be worth getting her a reassuring book about child development so she is more aware what to expect at each stage. I am a bit that she thinks a 2 month old baby could stand.

I think she needs some kind of medical intervention. What you're describing goes way beyond the normal fears of being a new mother and into something more worrying. When a friend's daughter had PND one of the symptoms was irrational and baseless fears, for example. That isn't a diagnosis. Does she call the doctor or HV as often as she calls you?

Sounds like the enormity of it all has hit her and she is worrying herself into a lather.

Is she feeling isolated, t doesn't sound as if she has friends with babies she can ask. She clearly trusts you enough to ask you.

Are there any mother + baby groups near her she could go to? Perhaps meeting other new mums she'd feel more confident. Maybe see if there's baby massage or something similar?

Like the pp suggested a helpful book might be useful.

Thanks for replies, I've told her to call her HV but as she has social services round when she was pregnant she has made a big effort toget the HV to sign her off (she did after 2 visits) so she will not call her.
I've given her a book but she hasn't read it and as she's on benefits she has been given a chance to be picked up from her house twice a week and taken to a baby group and back again all for free but she has declined as she doesn't want to.
I am trying to be supportive of it as I have a new (ish) baby and know how hard it can be but it is becoming a bit of a joke ...

Why were Social Services involved? That doesn't happen to most people

If she's not managing, covering up or lying to the HV, rejecting help when offered and showing extreme anxiety this could easily become a Child Protection matter.

She was an addict (has been clean for 2 years) and also had a tendency to make radical decisions without thinking. She was a bit of a loose cannon (was an escort - has never had a job or paid taxes in her life) I love her to pieces and I didn't want to paint her in a bad light, but hard to answer that without really.

You have to put the baby first here. Realise you are loyal and don't want to get her into trouble but a tiny baby is a vulnerable thing . Her behaviour is not normal and, if she has a history of substance abuse, what's to say that the excessive anxiety isn't caused be her relapsing? I think a phone call to her GP would be sensible in the circumstances.