I think my DH has hinted at a previous "misdemeanour"

[ThinkIveBeenHacked]

Last night chatting with friends about when DH and I worked away. First year apart (I was still at Uni), second year together. At the start of the second year (before I arrived), he and his room mate used to have a big sign in their window - I was under the impression it was facing one way to say "we are in" and the other way "we arent in". Mentioning it, he laughed and said "hahaha no it was used to indicate something else!"

At the time I sort of stopped and looked at him, then we just carried on with our night. But thinking back, I am considering the possibility that actually, he did get involved with other girls in this time?

We are at least ten years down the line. Do I talk to him about it?

As we worked apart for a year, and were young, I sort of thought "meh, im not daft, he might or might not have had a fling" and never considered questioning it.

I have never ever had cause to doubt him in the years since we had that year working apart.

Wwyd?

I think you should just ask him about it.

I'm sure he wouldn't of said anything that's going to incriminate himself.

It could have been just his roommate, as in to warn your DH 'dont come in here mate, I have company'. It may not have related to your DH being with someone.

Do you really want to know though? Think carefully about whether knowing or not knowing is better in the longer term. This depends on whether you have ongoing concerns about your DH, which it doesnt sound like you do. It could be nothing, you may have misinterpreted a throw away comment so it would be reassuring to be told that. Equally maybe it does mean what you think and how would you feel then knowing that? Is it something you could get over or would it really bother you?

For goodness sake just forget about it.
Why go looking for problems?

If something had happened, it would probably play on my mind a bit but it really wouldn't be a deal breaker.

What would make it a bit different is that year one, I only went a few times to visit but year two I joined him full time late spring. So if something happened that year, then I came, she would have still been there.

DHs room mate did get with his girlfriend whilst there, and before I arrived, so it could have been for them to use. But then I would imagine he would have just said "Haha no we had it so Dave could tell me to stay away"

It could have been just his roommate, as in to warn your DH 'dont come in here mate, I have company'

Yes this wast first thought too.

So if something happened that year, then I came, she would have still been there.

Who? Do you have a specific person in mind?

No not at all. But the workplace was a big private site - no non employees or non guests allowed. So of something did happen, it happened with a fellow employee.

I'm guessing he meant his room mate? After so long and no cause to worry in the interim I'd leave it.

I would leave it.

It was 10 years ago and as you have said he hasn't given you any cause for concern since then.

Why create drama when you don't need to.

Ahh! I misunderstood and thought you were both at uni so wondered what you meant by someone still being there.

I agree with others, i would leave it. It was long ago, you say you figured at the time that he might have a fling because you were both young etc and you say it wouldnt be a dealbreaker so why let it be an issue.

I am going to dissent from other posters. I would want to know, but I also would want to come at it from a sensible, rational adult perspective - i.e. it was early in your relationship, you weren't that committed, and if he did do something you're not going to be toooooo devastated about it, because you kind of had suspicions anyway, and it's not really the same thing as infidelity later on. As long as the commitment is there now, that is what matters.

Maybe it meant they were busy having a porn and wanking session in the living room so don't come in?

Ask him if it's bothering you.

A porn and wanking session [vom] do men do that communally?

Oh, haha you mean separatley

Dp was in the army years ago and they used to do something abit like this when they wanted a wank! Wouldn't worry about it!