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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My ex is constantly being a difficult little shit and I don't know how to stop him from getting to me

2 replies

IfuckingHateIkea · 09/02/2015 01:28

I split up with my ex when I found out I was pregnant 4 years ago. We have a 3 yo DD together.

He is always insolent, moody, condescending etc. Messes me around alot with visitation (such as cancelling or wanting to change weekend last minute etc).

Christmas last gone we had arranged for him to have our DD for 6 days. He was going to take her to the other side of the country which involves a plane journey. He let slip he was going to go away with some mates for 2 or 3 days whilst she was over and she would be staying with relatives she did not know too well. I felt this was not acceptable as she was too young. We then agreed he would bring her back before he goes on his trip. Anyway he then tells me a few days before leaving that he would not be able to have her at all because he can't afford the flights. I was disappointed, for my DD but also me as I would of liked some time off too. I end up having her for 3 solid weeks on my own.

Anyway recently we got into a bit of a disagreement about a weekend he couldn't do and Christmas was brought up. He is now saying that the reason DD didnt see him over the period was because I had made it impossible for him to take her. This makes me so angry because if he really wanted to see her he could have cancelled his jolly with his mates, or returned to our city earlier. He managed to fly to another city before coming back to spend a few days with his girlfriend too. He has also been paying £70 less maintenance since September which would have paid for her flights. The whole thing just really winds me up!

I wish I could detach more but it makes me so cross. No doubt he told all his family and friends that I am this wicked witch who stops him from seeing his DD.

OP posts:
bibliomania · 09/02/2015 10:54

You know the answer yourself - "I wish I could detach more".

He's not going to change, so all you can do is stop giving him power over you. Keep your expectations low, learn ways to amuse yourself at his antics ("fuckwit bingo" is a good one - take private bets about the excuses you expect to hear from him every time you have contact).

Don't rely on him and always have Plan B if he fails to turn up for contact etc. Don't expect fairness or that he'll every really get it. Let off steam on Mumsnet!

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 09/02/2015 11:11

Echo what bibliomania says. He is of course the greatest gift ever to womankind, don't forget.

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