How to help friend?

[CowPatRoberts]

Evening MN!

My best friend and her OH broke up last year after 6 years together, but she's since moved back to her hometown and things have picked up a little, I know he's stayed over a bit and they go out for dinner etc.

In general things are good AFAIK but he has a habit of getting absolutely wasted at the weekends (drink & drugs) with the same close group of friends that have a history of winding my friend up.

Last night she received a text from her XP, who had supposed to be coming back to hers after drinks, that he'd gotten drunk and cheated on her. She tried to call him a dozen times only for it to be cut off, or picked up and immediately hung up. After an hour of this, at 1 in the morning he called her, utterly bemused at her crying, for her to find out his friends had done it for a joke.

He's been really shirty with her all day, telling her to chill out and that she's overreacting. Understandably this is driving her mad and I just want to be able to give her some good advice without causing any awkward situations in the future if she stays with him. I just think she's better than this.

I'd be sceptical it's a joke. Because how is it funny? Him not seeing why this is hurtful sounds like serious minimising to me. Where is his rage on her behalf. These friends, if they do make these jokes are who he chooses to be with he appears to be OK with how they treat her.

You're right. Pretty much everyone is better than this. She deserves respect from her partner.

Tell her you feel she deserves more respect and support. Tell her you know it's hard to fully understand their relationship but that you are there to listen and value her.

Listening to what she wants. It can mean a lot.

She is better than this. Anyone deserves better than this. He's mugging her off, and if he's "laughing off" the fact that someone's seriously upset her, then he clearly doesn't give a tin shit about her.