Relationship between me and my 'H' has not been great for a while. Married 16yrs, 3DC. He claims everything is fine. I have seen a solicitor re divorce but decided not to proceed just yet until I have saved up some money and the eldest DC (15)have finished their exams.
I have always been the 'enabler' in the relationship; allowing him to do what he wants and leaving me to do what has to/needs to be done.
I have always worked (PT since having the DC) but in the last 3 yrs my employment history has been checkered due to an accident but mostly because I was a sessional worker. He earns 7x what I earn. Money for the family has become very tight however spending on his very expensive hobby continues unabated.
In theory we should have quite a large disposable income but I always have to be very frugal with the 'housekeeping' money. He gives me a third of his income for housekeeping (food ,clothing, all DCs expenses); mortgage and all other bills amount to just less than another third; leaving the rest for him.
When I have asked for a bit of extra money, say for Christmas, he says that there is no spare cash.
Less than 6mths ago my parents loaned me some money to buy a car as he said he couldn't afford to replace the old one that had 'died'. We live in a rural area and it was making life very hard and expensive for me having to rely on public transport with 3DC and hold down a job.
This week he announces that in order to pay less tax; he is going to put several hundred pounds a month into his pension pot.
I am beyond livid that this man thinks it more important to reduce his tax bill than buy his children Christmas presents.
He always makes it sound like he is being the sensible one and that I don't understand finances.
So, am I right to feel angry or is he being sensible?
This may be the final nail in the coffin of our marriage for me.