Am I being unreasonable?

[Mariacbw]

Me and DP have DD 20 months and I am 24 weeks pg. this week we have argued sooo much, over insignificant things but with my hormones and his short temper they've turned into huge rows. This morning we arranged to have a nice night get a take away but then this afternoon he went to see his friends at the pub but wasn't drinking and would be home in 1 hour. 1 hour later I get a text to say 'I'm staying out for a few drinks, don't be mad.' (A few drinks to him can mean coming home 12 hours later) I told him I was peed off, spent all day cleaning, tomorrow is studying all day for a uni course which I'm doing on top of working full time so it was just something to look forward to and he's just totally disregarded our plans. Then he had the cheek to ask me why I can't be chilled out and he's not been out for ages etc... So am I right to be peed off or over reaction?

I would be furious.

YANBU

I would be cross too.

Is he looking after your DD tomorrow or will he be too hungover?

Yanbu, how disrespectful of him. Will he look after dd tomorrow?

What a dick. I hope you got takeaway without him.

DD is spending the day with my aunty tomorrow (pre arranged), even if she wasn't he still would have gone out and then half heartedly looked after her. What I find the most annoying is hell spend the whole day hungover apologising and saying he shouldn't have gone out / stayed out so late etc...

can you go somewhere? I find getting to the library really helps me to work and I don't get distracted. Then you won't have to see his hangover, and he'll have to get his own cups of tea etc. Would he be reliable about picking DD up? (I shouldn't even need to ask this, you know that, right?) so that you can stay out as late as you want.

Then text/call him on the way home asking what he's got for dinner as you've been working all day and need to relax once you get home.

Oh dear, I would find this very, very difficult to accept.

You ask if you are being unreasonable, but you haven't really described any behaviour of yours that might be unreasonable. What is your reaction going to be? I think you need to talk, tell him your expectations and give him your line in the sand.

He would half-heartedly look after her?

Oh dear, OP, is this the straw that broke the camels back? Sounds like this act of selfishness is not an isolated incident.

I second a day at the uni library. What are you going to do?

Yes he'd be reliable to pick her up. By half heartedly I mean he would say if I change her nappy will you make her dinner. If I get her juice will you do the next nappy - but she's not here so that won't be the issue. I question me being unreasonable at being peed off when he told me he was staying out because he thought I was and told me to chill out. Before children I was really chilled out, laid back, had a great social life but now obviously things are different that I I (we) have responsibilities however I think he struggles with the change in me. It's definitely not an isolated incident - maybe every few months (1st pregnancy every few weeks though).
I'm staying at home to do my work - there's no way I'll be fetching him tea etc..
Haven't really discussed it this morning, will talk before getting DD this eve. I've got into the habit of letting things go to avoid an arguement but will definitely persue this.

I would be totally FURIOUS!! You are definitely not being unreasonable. How annoying and rude. Get him told! Bang out of order!