Home is NOT where the heart used to be

[yougotafriend]

I went to visit DS2 in what was the family home (H & DS1 out for the evening) "come sit in the living room" he says..... I lived there for 20yrs but I've never felt so uncomfortable.

1. Felt like I shouldn't have been there without H knowing.
2. Felt like I couldn't breathe, real pressure on my chest
3. Felt really sad that I felt so disconnected from somewhere I spent almost half my life living in.

It was so weird I ended up practically running out on DS2.

Is it really because I wasn't happy there?

Probably.

No. You were overwhelmed. Natural to feel that way.

It's strange isn't it? The house I spent years cleaning, fixing up and decorating and the curtains I made, the cushions I sewed, all the same and yet so different. It was like visiting a parallel universe and really disconcerting. When XH moved he took all that stuff to the new house too so when I go there to pick up or drop off DC I see it all again. The best antidote for me has been to make a new warm loving home because although he kept all the stuff I have the ability to create the atmosphere. The DC know that too.
Is it because you weren't happy there? Maybe or perhaps because it makes you question whether you should have stayed on. Did you make a horrible mistake? Are you a terrible person? etc
(No no and no!)