Should I carry on seeing this chap?

[ScrambledEggAndToast]

I have been seeing this chap since November. To be honest, "seeing" is probably not really the right word as we have only met up about 8 times in person.

Anyway, the circumstances are that we are both single parents to one child. He works shifts, I work full time, normal office hours. We both have no support from our exes for babysitting although our mum's are pretty good.

The last time I saw him was the 27th of Jan for the day and before that a brief lunch date a week earlier. It's unlikely I will see him before Thursday of next week, so 2.5 weeks!

Neither of us wants to introduce the children just yet which means days out as a 4 can't happen (I suspect we would see each other more if this were to happen).

He calls me at least twice a day, texts loads and we chat on FB. He also got me some very thoughtful Christmas presents.

So, should I dump him and look for someone who works better hours who could see me more? Wait and see how the relationship develops? (This could be an indeterminate length of time) Any other ideas?

Thanks for reading, if you got this far.

Agree with pp, don't feel you have to hurry. Psychics wouldn't make any money out of saying 'just wait and see how it goes'. Don't give what she said another thought.

Um yeah, there doesn't seem to be an issue. You communicate well, you re clear on involving DC etc. but you went to a psychic.

Clue - the problem was in the last action. He might be dreadful, but not on the say so of your psychic...

Sounds fine to me. He is taking things slow maybe being overly cautious as he has been hurt before badly, or come in strong previously and it's gone against him.

Keep it breezy, relax, enjoy. Keep busy. Have you arranged another date?

We have loosely arranged to see 50 Shades of Grey but no actual date yet. I think he is trying to do lots of overtime this month as they are stopping it for some reason.

Oh and yes I think he has been hurt before. From what he has been slowly revealing, his DS's mum sounds as though she didn't treat him that well. I haven't been pushing for answers though because it seems better to let him tell me rather than me being too nosey.

Why don't you just ask him how he feels about your relationship.

Worse case scenario you'll be friends.

He could be wondering how you feel hence the baby steps for everything. Especially if you have mentioned you have been really hurt before.

Ah yea I think 'holding back' is a wise move for both of you when you are still getting to know each other. I think perhaps having such a space between physical dates might help you to take things slow and steady, which in my view is the best way to begin a relationship (past 'moving too fast' experiences make me say this!).

There are lots of ways you can connect between dates, like skype and email and phone calls, etc..which it sounds like you are doing.

So yep with the other posters who say relax and enjoy, and try not to fret too much about your differing work schedules at this stage. Sounds like you are both having a lovely time so far, so keep with that and wait to see how it develops.

Wow dumping him just because he works shifts is a bit harsh! Am I the only person who thinks going 2.5 weeks without seeing each other isn't that long? I sometimes didn't see my boyfriend for 2 weeks if I had a big essay to write or was working funny shifts and he never considered dumping me! In a weird way, I sometimes liked it because it built up the anticipation loads so seeing him felt like the most amazing thing ever. But I'm probably odd.

I don't understand why you'd consider dumping him. If you were going with no contact at all for 2 weeks then that would be different but from what you've said it sounds like he's very into you. You're still in the early stages and I think taking things slowly, especially when children are involved, is never a bad thing. It sounds like it's going really well. I think it would be a shame if you ended it just because of his hours but maybe you're just looking for an excuse because you're not that into him. In which case, yes you should end it.