Relationship strain and small kids

[littleraysofsunshine]

We have three small kids (

It's not silly at all. There is a reason you have posted and that means it is not trivial to you. I believe in creating time for you as an adult not just as a mum.

First things first when was the last time you went out as a couple? Do you have anyone who could babysit for you? If this not an option, then schedule some down time for you both when the kids have gone to bed. Have some fun and laugh. Have a conversation, play some silly games or watch a good comedy. Find a way to reconnect and inject some fun back into your lives. Enjoy a drink together in on a Friday night. Cook each a beautiful meal or give him a massage. Suggest to him to try something new together or ask him for ideas as well on What he would think would be fun. I think sex comes more naturally when you're feeling good about yourself and when it's enjoyable times with your partner. I've found that with my boyfriend and we've been together 9 years. Xx

Thank you. The lat time we had time just us was about a year go. If you don't count the food shopping...we had a date in December (with the baby) then prior to that it wa an anniversary meal (with the baby) both one baby was breastfeeding on demand...

But I've booked a meal for us in march for a day out. Was mean to go lat night but a big has hit the household..

Sex wise, it's me. I don't feel at all comfortable in my own skin. He's still the same as before kids. Wish I was. Mind body and soul...

This is not a silly post, I think it can take a few years and a bit of mental effort to feel like you own your body again after children have taken over it. However it will happen. In the meantime, keep talking, keep being affectionate, keep enjoying what you can do (DVD when kids in bed and a bottle of wine go a long way).

I have had lots of DCs and I can hardly remember ever going out. What we should have done was be more careful of us as a couple.
We were very careful of the children, seeing to their needs conscientiously etc , but I believe we neglected ourselves and for while we lost our individuality. We were like a piece of the furniture.

Gradually, as the children left home we sort of righted ourselves.

I agree with !Butter and think you should schedule dates in for yourself and your husband. Even if you don't feel like going out I think you should make the effort. A change of environment is energising and may stimulate some sexual arousal. You felt desire for your DH once and so you need to see him as he once was, not through a cloud of housework and nappy changing.
Oskar Wilde said ' a pram in the hall is death to creativity, it can also be the Death of Sexual desire and attractiveness. It needs nurturing to survive. You need to do some self nurturing.

Thanks all.

It's so hard when you feel tired. Take now. Babies fell asleep at 8:30, I nodded off with baby dc 3 for ten mins, gone down and dp has fallen asleep. Now in my brain I should wake him to say let's spend some time, watch a DVD, intimate time or whatever. But I know dc3 will wake up again soon for a feed and all my brain says is sleep! I feel like I'm so shit!