i really need some please i am desperate

[aaron13]

Hi I am a married man with 2 beautiful children I have been married for 5 years...out of the blue my wife decided to tell me we were having problems that I did not know were happening only foe me to find out she had been get what she called emotional support from a man she has told me she is attracted to the she left me twice after giving me almost impossible tasks to change the person that I was then a few days ago she sais that I am not who I used to be and so she has left mw again but has told me that she is going out on the weekend and if another man shows her attention she will move forward with it...she is being so cold towards me and blocking me out I dont know what to do my whole life is being destroyed and I don't think I can survive without her she is everything to me and I want nothing more than to fight to get her to love me again but she has told me not to bother...i really need some help I cant eat or sleep or function at all and the pain is killing me ...i dont know what to do next or why this is happening please somebody help me

If she's given up on your marriage, there isn't much chance you're going to be able to do anything about it. You can't make someone else love you, or even go back to loving you.

What you do need to do is talk to her about why she has stopped loving you. You say she wanted you to change, and you've made some changes, but now she doesn't like what you've turned into - sounds like you can't win, so really you just have to try and deal with the situation as it is. Ask her if she's prepared to go to relationship counselling, but if she won't, she won't. :(

Sorry you're going through this, it is shit.

She will hardly talk to me and says she doesn't even want to be friends....im at rock bottom my business is dying because of this and I feel like mu children are drifting from me ...i am so depressed and dont know how to cope I'm crying at work and just cant see an end to it I am willing to do anything I have to

Sounds like there isn't anything you can do - except let her go. But make sure you have adequate access to your children.

I'm sorry to say that if she wants to go, there's nothing you can do to stop her. If she feels that the marriage is salvageable, then you could try relationship counselling, but her behaviour speaks volumes really. You need to be looking after yourself, if you are feeling very down and unable to cope, it might be a good idea to go and speak to your GP.

Try counceling. Idealy with her. Of she is not interested then by yourself.

Oh, bless you aaron.

You're obviously having a really rubbish time atm, but you will get through it.

From what you say, she appears to have checked out of the relationship. Could she be depressed? If not, then what she's saying re. other men paying her attention is downright cruel really.

Counselling for yourself is definitely the way forward. Help you not to define yourself by another's treatment of you.

Either there's more to the story or she's a total bitch for treating you like that. You are not defined by the relationship you are in, however big a part of your life it may be. It doesn't sound salvagable to me so I'd work out how to move on bit by bit, don't make any rash decisions about housing, money, or access to children that you may later regret.

She sounds cruel not to try any sort of talking at all. Sending you a hug Aaron.