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Original poster

Has anyone moved in with a partner only AFTER getting married?

43 replies

Felixstower · 04/02/2015 23:04

Not for religious reasons, more for practical ones, financial, I don't know... What made you choose not to live together first before you married? Was it a good decision?

OP posts:
DarkNavyBlue · 04/02/2015 23:08

I didn't live with my ex DH until after we were married. It was because we decided to get married quickly and we thought it would be unconventional and we both quite liked that idea.

The marriage lasted ten years. I don't regret not living with him first, though I probably wouldn't have married him, and the relationship would have been much shorter if we had.

Fevertree · 04/02/2015 23:10

We moved into our house the day after our wedding. We lived at our separate parents until then. It was purely practical, we had bought a 'do-er upper' and it wasn't in any way ready until the day before our wedding!

WhenMarnieWasThere · 04/02/2015 23:11

It was pretty much the 'done thing', certainly among the friends of mine who got married at the same time. Possibly old fashioned I suppose. I got married and then we moved into our home together. None of my friends moved in together first either.

WhenMarnieWasThere · 04/02/2015 23:11

Still married 20 years on.

youarethequarry · 04/02/2015 23:13

We moved in together 8 weeks before our wedding. We'd been together 7 years and saved for a house whilst living with our respective parents. The house took longer than expected to go through so not long to adjust to living together before the wedding. Whilst we are very happy 3 years later, living together is a bigger change in the relationship than marriage IMO and it took us a long time to adjust despite spending most nights together at parents' houses. Dividing the chores and morning routines were totally different in our own house and caused the odd row to start with! Sometimes I wonder if we would have got married at all if we'd lived together for too long Grin

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 04/02/2015 23:22

We didn't officially live together before we were married. We were very young and students and decided it would be romantic to get married before we lived together. (It made sense at the time!)

Over 14 years on now and still together.

StayGoldPonyBoy · 04/02/2015 23:26

We met at 15, DH was at uni when we got married and living in a shared house. I didn't join him because I couldn't afford the council tax on a 6 bed house, being a non student! We lived apart for 3 months of our marriage and bought our little house when he got his graduate job and we knew where we'd actually be based as he went into a very niche industry with jobs in only a few cities. It made the most sense!

MrsSchadenfreude · 04/02/2015 23:30

Me! Can't remember why - I think we were both quite happy in our own flats. We had also got engaged very quickly, and I think needed a bit of space to get used to the idea of getting married. Still together 21 years later.

holeinmyheart · 05/02/2015 01:02

This thread made me laugh, as before I met and married my DH over 40 years ago it was not only normal in my Social Circle, NOT to live with someone but considered desirable not to make love before hand either. Imagine !

I didn't live with my DH because my parents would not have approved. Was I also a Virgin? mmmm, that bit of information is not for a wider audience.

madwomanbackintheattic · 05/02/2015 01:10

No. We were both members of the armed forces serving in different places. Not sure how we were supposed to live together.

Didn't live together until 6 months after we got married as he went directly on op tour after the wedding (3 day honeymoon). I continued sharing a house with a male friend and dh and I bought our own place which we lived in for only six months before we were posted o'seas. At that point as we were married, we were entitled to a quarter.

We'd been together for 7 years before we got married, 7.5 before we lived together. Still together, in our, um, 9th house or so? Lost count.

tellmesomething · 05/02/2015 01:11

We got married really quick. The decision to marry so fast wasn't great but we never had issues living together. 1 DS and 6 years later we are still happily together

madwomanbackintheattic · 05/02/2015 01:13

10th. I worked it out.

Bogeyface · 05/02/2015 01:29

My friend got married Summer 94 and they didnt live together beforehand. They bought their home and decorated/furnished etc, it was like a show home for 6 months before the wedding!

They are still in that home and still married nearly 21 years later. I have always lived-with before marriage and am on my third marriage so maybe there is something to be said for it :)

Rivercam · 05/02/2015 07:11

We didn't live together before marriage, and been married for over 20 years.

bruffin · 05/02/2015 07:15

We also didnt live together and still married 24 years later. Not sure why as i had my own flat and dh moved in when we got back from honeymoon.

goshhhhhh · 05/02/2015 07:21

No we didn't live together. Lots of my friends who did felt that after the wedding was an anti climax & we decided we were going to get married anyway......
Still together 16 years later...(but then so is the rest of my family & some of them lived together before hand).

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea · 05/02/2015 07:25

I moved in with DH 9 months after we got married, I was working in a different country and had to wait for my contract to end.

UngratefulMoo · 05/02/2015 07:31

We moved in together after we got engaged - does that count? Going pretty well so far.... (two years in!)

gamerchick · 05/02/2015 07:36

We moved in together a good 2 year after getting married.

Personally I don't think it's necessary to share a bed or even a house to have a good relationship.

Costacoffeeplease · 05/02/2015 07:36

We didn't live together before we got married either, we bought an old house that needed lots of work and my husband lived there with no kitchen (just a cold water stand pipe) for months while it was done - it still had scaffolding up on our wedding day! 28 years later we're still together

Ihavealwaysbeenastorm · 05/02/2015 07:39

A mixture of "religious " and practical reasons here. We bought our house and renovated it in the lead up to the wedding. I had been with my now dh 6 years by that point And in order to afford the refurb we lived at our respective parents. We were only mid twenties.
When we married and moved it it felt right, still does 7 years and two kids later.

Notagainmun · 05/02/2015 07:45

DH moved into my parent's home with me straight after our honeymoon. We were building our first home and neither set of parents would have allowed us to live together in their homes without being married. We couldn't afford rent and a mortgage at the same time.

ITHOUGHTISAW2ANGELSAHEADOFME · 05/02/2015 08:04

Yes i moved in after getting married would have had alot of stick from his mum if i hadn't esp her rejection about our engagement announcement. I wish though we had moved because they bought his first house and it was never seen as both of ours even after the wedding. So one day i said please don't call it his place again my name is on the mortgage now.

MythicalKings · 05/02/2015 08:17

Got married as soon as we decided we wanted to live together and have children. Bought a house and did it up in the months up to the wedding, moved in when we came back from our honeymoon.

maras2 · 05/02/2015 09:01

We were married 40 years ago and although lots of our peers lived together prior to marriage,we didn't.We had no firm views on it either way but DMIL would have been upset as she was quite religious and rather old fashioned.This was no skin off our noses and made for a happy harmonious relationship with DMIL until she died last week.

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