How often does your boyfriend casually mention his ex in conversation?

[Felixstower]

Just wondering as my boyfriend of a couple of years seems to mention his in an 'oh, when we used to go there' or 'when we did that' way several times during the course of our meetings. Every time. On every date/meet up/etc. they lived together a long time admittedly but were never married.

I'm confident he doesn't hold a torch for her as he left her because it had fizzled out, and they stay in touch regularly by phone, but it bothers me. How often does your boyfriend talk about their ex? Or is this pretty normal?

Not that much now because I called him on it. It bothered me more in the negative sense. Oh my exw was messy and dirty that kind of thing. He encouraged me to bitch about my exh. One day a few months back I asked him if he thought we would have anything to talk about if we didn't discuss our exes. He's made an effort not to since then.
I think it takes time to grow out of referencing previous life experience

Hardly ever and I never mention my ex either. It's totally possible to tell a story or reference a past event and leave out the name of the person you were with at the time. It's bad manners and insensitive to do othwrwise. Pick him up on it and tell him to stop.

@Wotaits... referencing exes is bad manners but bitching or badmouthing them can be a relationship red flag. Bitter people keen to blame an ex for everything tend not to make good partners

Your boyfriend of a couple of years mentions his ex every time you see him?

Well to answer your question - much, much less often than that. And we're very open about 'mentioning exes' - I'm good friends with one of mine so he gets brought up a fair bit. Though in the early days I did take care not to go on about him too much - I knew there was nothing there but also knew that there's no better way to make someone feel weird about an ex than to go on about them all the time.

I'd raise it with him in a light way. A simple 'you mention your ex a lot, did you know that?'.

It's entirely possible it's just a bit of a verbal tic, something he's in the habit of. But I think I'd find it quite strange.

Are you sure it 'fizzled out'? Fizzling out usually means two people have nothing left to say to each other. If they're on the phone to each other all the time and he keeps talking about her, perhaps it's fizzled back to life? Feels wrong to me.....

Cogito He fell out of love, he said. They don't talk that regularly - well I don't know exactly he's never been direct about it - maybe once a month or every six weeks or so.

All the time. Mind you, I am his ex! We split as we were young and a 2 school years age gap meant I was a college and him at school.

I've had others and occasionally they come up in conversation as we only split because it wasn't right, rather than anything being wrong. He's not bothered, we were friends then and he knew the exes so they are shared history.

I've been with my DP 3 years and still mention my ex. We were together for 10 years so most of the things I've done over the past few years and places I've been were with him. If I didn't mention it I'd never mention my past! It doesn't have to be weird.

Most people I know don't mention their ex's in front of present partner. It's an unwritten rule isn't it.
One of my friends is almost comedic about saying 'thingy' instead of their name, as though he can't remember it despite them being engaged
If it bothers you then tell your partner.

Neither DH nor I have exes as have been together for 47 years since early teens. Saves argy bargy. Plenty of other things to bicker about though.

Put it this way, does he mention any one else as much? His best friend for example?

If not, I'd tell him.

In fact I'm astonished you haven't raised it. "Just once when we meet I'd like to go longer than two hours without hearing your exes name"

After two bloody years, its worth a row.

I don't like it when he does. It bothers me a lot. I ask him not to.

I'm married now, but he never talked about his exes even at the start. I had to ask questions about them, I never got the impression he was very interested in them tbh.

I haven't ever and DH hasn't either, just doesn't cross my mind or remind me of them in any case.
Sorry but he sounds clearly still hung up on his ex.

I've noticed that I seem to do it, without even meaning to. Current DP knows ex DP and we use to all be part of the same group, I don't really know what the etiquette for it is for talking about places i have been when he knows that me and the ex went there together. I'm really trying to check myself so that his name isn't mentioned at all!

I always used to do that and couldn't understand why my boyfriend of the time was annoyed.

It was just that the time I spent with the ex was quite a large chunk of my life when we did interesting things and, like your boyfriend, it had all fizzled out and we were truly and honestly just good friends.

Not that often.
But they had a child together so her name comes up.
We've been together over 20 years though so I think the need to talk about ex's except for practical reasons has long gone.

Very very rarely.

We have lots of other things to talk about.

Do you talk about your ex? Does he mind?

I think it is odd he mentions her every time you see him. Why is he still in regular contact with her? Do they have a child together?

It definitely sounds like he isn't over it, sorry

Agree with hampton the amount of time he mentions her is odd.

Might mean she occupies a big space in his head.