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Relationships

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Original poster

I tried flirting with a guy..and now all my colleagues are laughing at me.

17 replies

AirForce5 · 04/02/2015 15:56

I am a single woman, almost 30. I have been single for a few years now and only recently have I built up enough confidence to try and meet someone. I'm fed up of being alone, and sick of standing in the corner sipping my G&T while all the couples dance and enjoy themselves. I have made a special effort to talk to guys at friend's parties, and even had a go at online dating. Unfortunately, none of it has come to anything, mainly because I am still a very shy person and go bright red whenever I get the hots for someone...

Anyway, last night we had a small drinks do for someone who is leaving, and I got talking to an absolutely gorgeous chap who I instantly clicked with. We had a good laugh and seemed to have a lot in common. I don't work with him, he is a mutual friend.
I went home feeling very proud of myself for taking the initiative to talk to him, and hoped to see him again.

Fast forward to today at work, and all morning I had colleagues making jokes about it and generally having a good old laugh at me chatting him up I felt very uncomfortable about it, but just kept smiling because I really hoped it was just a bit of banter that would die down. Don't get me wrong, I am bloody well pleased with myself, and why shouldn't I be? I've been single for a long time & it took me a lot of courage to chat to him. However, now I feel that in future I probably won't bother. There's nothing like being made the joke of the office to really put a dampener on things.

I'm doomed to be single forever with a house full of cats & an addiction to Horlicks and afternoons spent dozing in front of Countdown, aren't I?!

OP posts:

Jan45 · 04/02/2015 16:00

OMG, you are not even 30 so no you won't be the crazy old cat lady! Stop it right now, they are just having banter with you, it passes the time in a boring office, let it glide off your back and keep that smile to yourself.

Fairylea · 04/02/2015 16:02

Maybe they're just jealous? They sound envious. Laugh it off. I know it's hard but 30 is still young in terms of being single and having a flirt. If he's as nice as you say he is everyone else is probably just envious that you got his attention.

pocketsaviour · 04/02/2015 16:03

Well done for talking to him, it's not an easy thing when you're shy.

Is the teasing good-natured, or does it have a nasty edge? Do you think realistically they are trying to upset you, or are they just trying to lighten the boredom of the working day?

tallwivglasses · 04/02/2015 16:03

You obviously got on well with this guy. Take no notice, they're just jealous. In fact, tell them that, with a

UmizoomiThis · 04/02/2015 16:03

Bless, think of it this way... They all thought you were just shy and yesterday they realised no, you're just not interested in any of them :-)

IlikeCowboys · 04/02/2015 16:04

People will only be commenting because it's something they have never seen you do before. Carry on ignoring them but please DONT not flirt again with any other guys as what have you gained then?
I flirt constantly with all sorts of people, more to make them feel good rather than to get anything out of it myself. (Am happily married) I also flirt with women - non of these exchanges are sexual but all are done in a happy feel good about yourself way and that makes you more open to attention - which being single is all about keep it up girl and practice practice practice and the gossips will stop eventually

SnakesandKnives · 04/02/2015 16:05

Listen to Jan! seriously....offices are almost always like this....most will be genuinely joking, some jealous and possibly some slightly nasty for no obvious reason.....but nearly everyone is just passing the time.

Do NOT let others decide for you what you're like. Clearly you CAN flirt and chat with a guy...cos you did. And will do it again.

Original poster

AirForce5 · 04/02/2015 16:06

IlikeCowboys -
Its interesting you say that, as yes I probably am seen as the "shy one."

OP posts:

IlikeCowboys · 04/02/2015 16:44

And no they know different.

Keep it up and enjoy

DrMorbius · 04/02/2015 17:04

OP, my view is that your colleagues noticed the "new you", and by mentioning it as banter shows a kind of respect for your actions. Think of it as a compliment.

Pagwatch · 04/02/2015 17:10

Don't let their petty teasing upset you - you did brilliantly and I think that jealousy/surprise is probably driving their behaviour.
People like those around them to conform to roles. Good for you - you struck out.

DakotaFanny · 04/02/2015 17:15

They definitely sound jealous! The quiet lady, who never threatens their own place in the male hierarchy suddenly showed she has something that may merit men's attention! Even if they're all coupled up, they are still shocked that you are not fitting inside their comfortable image of how you fit into the group.

Tossers.

Well done you- keep going!

lavenderhoney · 04/02/2015 17:18

Really, have they nothing else to do?

Just ignore them and work harder. You'll be there boss before they know it and you'll remember this crap:)

You've been put into a mould of shy and single. Look fabulous, always, look surprised at anyone trying to say you were out of character ( it changes office dynamics) and don't let them shove you back into your box. He was chatting you up as well!:)

Also, don't share to much with them, esp if he asks you out. if they don't know your business they can't tease you. Change the subject:) "

limegoldfinewine · 04/02/2015 17:19

I doubt people are jealous. It's more likely that people are excited because it's new and fun. Stop feeling embarrassed! Laugh along and enjoy it. Also think about counselling because 30 is not old and you sound overly self conscious about it.

mrscumberbatch · 04/02/2015 17:24

I have a friend similar to you and I have been known to say "Oh look at you, hussy!" If she tells me about somebody she has met etc

It is meant good naturedly and I like to poke fun because She knows herself that it is ridiculous to be putting herself on the shelf for the sake of sparing a few blushes.

Depending on how well you know your colleagues, they either mean it in a 'good for you way' or a gossipy way. If its the former just own it.

intlmanofmystery · 04/02/2015 18:27

Well done you! Yes it is probably just teasing/banter as they have seen a different side to you. But absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about! People always like to gossip when other people's lives are more interesting than their own... And as a pp said, he was most definitely flirting with you too. So what next??

Fantasmicos · 04/02/2015 18:51

Just ignore the office banter don't let it bother you at all
You sound lovely! I think you need to acclimatise to chatting men up. What I suggest is to aggressively hit the online dating and try to go on 2-3 dates a week. Just treat it as practice. Do that for a few months and you'll click with the right person. If you're shy have a drink or two, works for most. Good luck!

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