So unsure

[BabyBump2B]

So I've been separated for almost four years and have a dd who is 5.5. I now have a great relationship with my exh & we're friends.

I've been dating for almost 2 years now. A 7 month relationship last year that ended amicably, but the guy had quite severe depression (and ended up unemployed) for a lot of it. We're also still friends.

For the last 6 months I've been dating a really lovely guy - he was stable, separated for as long as I have been and has a 7 year old ds.
We moved in together last month.

He's basically been having a bit of a breakdown. It started gently at the end of Nov and just thought he was tired. It got worse and worse until he was signed off work for a week with anxiety in early January.

He's sullen, morose, moody, needy & difficult to live with. I feel like I have another child. It's just so stressful and I don't know what to do.

I want to be supportive but at the same time I feel like this isn't what I signed up for and he is no longer the person I fell for.

Earlier he sent me a text saying he might lose his job today. I feel so stuck. What do I do?

How much support are you willing to give him?

Not how much you think a girlfriend should. Not how much support you will give out of a feeling of guilt.

How much do you, personally, want to help and support this particular man, now?

Do that. And express it to him as clearly as possible, too.

You really don't know someone after six months. You have made a mistake and it sounds like you are just going to have to tell him it is not working out and end the relationship.

6 months isn't long to know somebody. One month is really soon to already feel like he's not the person you fell for.

To put things into context, people go through a hell of a lot more shit than you both have and it doesn't rock them at all.

This relationship doesn't sound like its got legs to me.

When you have children, moving in together after 5 months is way too soon.
I would end this relationship now as it really doesn't sound great. It could get to a point where he is moping around the house all day whilst you are paying for everything and supporting him and his child as well as your own. If you don't want to take that risk then end it.

Take some time out after this one. Just enjoy being a mum and spending time with your child and friends.

You seem to move from relationship to relationship quite quickly.

I think you need to move back to separate houses and go from there, but if you're not sure after 6 months then the relationship is probably a no go.

Anyone that you have a relationship with might become ill. There isn't a 'type' that you can predict will develop either physical or mental ill health.

Maybe but after 6 months it's ok to not have to commit to that person indefinitely in the hope they might get better. There is no for better or worse, in sickness and in health at this stage. It's ok to walk away.

Not many of us expect or are prepared for what you describe - after six months!

Tell him you made a mistake, it's all be too soon, living together is though at the best of times, never mind all this. You know deep down it's not what you want so change it, your mistake was moving in together far too soon, but, we all make mistakes and they can be rectified!

Thank you. I know what you're saying is right. 5 months was too soon to move it together - but it was one of those situations where his lease was up and I happened to be a victim of a revenge eviction at the same time so it seemed like a good idea.

And I don't think I move from relationship to relationship quickly - I took more than 2 years off after my exh and I split, and then 5 months between the last relationship and this one!