I have two really old female friends. They were not friends with each other (different groups) but I was friends with both of them. I'd say these are my two longstanding best friends. They've heard about each other over the years through me - what the other one has been up to and vice versa. They've been interested to hear about each other but never wanted to be friends or been in contact with each other except at landmark birthdays for me - my 21st, 30th etc.
Anyway, my life changed massively five years ago when I got a new job which I had worked incredibly hard for. It was a good job and meant I was travelling all over the world and getting paid well. I then met my DH the year after and had a baby two years after that. It was quite a fast transition for me and a great series of lucky and happy events where my life finally came together.
I'm not quite sure how people viewed me before, but I get the impression since doing well that nobody thought I'd ever make much of myself (before that i was unemployed, stuck in a bad relationship, no money, a bit of an emotional mess.) For some reason I seem to be really resented for what has happened to me, as if people needed to rely on me to be the one who was always in a mess.
And worst of all my two best friends have started behaving oddly. They met again at my wedding where they were my two Maids of Honour. They both sat opposite me at the reception and were bitching about me while I could hear. It was all supposed to be so I could hear, if you know what I mean, that I was supposed to take it in jest, or accept that they were taking the piss, but the stuff they were saying was really hurtful. About how fast I met my DH and got married, how it probably won't last. One was saying "I'll give it 2 years, knowing her," and the other saying "how much do you want to bet?" Then they both brought up two incidents from school that I was extremely embarrassed about. (I once wet myself in assembly) but instead of presenting them as funny stories, they sniggered about them between themselves. "and then she did this... and then she did that." It was like they had finally found an ally. The thing is, I have never been horrible to either of them. I have always put them both on a pedestal.
The next time they saw each other was when I'd just had my first DC. They happened to both be in the city I live in on the same day, so I invited them both round for lunch to meet the baby. They both ignored the baby and ignored me and started to talk between themselves. I ended up having to take dd off into the corner of the room to feed while they carried on their conversation, and then they both left.
The truth is, I've never been happier, more content and more settled in life. I've never had more time for the people I love, wanting to spend time with them, show them my appreciation, give to them in anyway they need. Life is good. Yet my friends seem to not like me anymore. Neither are married or have children. But both are perfectly successful in their careers.
I am not one to put things down to jealousy. I don't think they are jealous - it's not that they'd want a replica of my job or my DH or my baby. They want their own thing. But do you think it's true that women cast friends in certain roles in their lives, and they don't like it when those people's lives change for the better?