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Relationships

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Original poster

Did you say all of the traditional marriage vows?

34 replies

WaitingForMe · 03/02/2015 21:48

When DH and I were planning our wedding (the second for both of us) I told him that I couldn't promise the full vows. In the end we did basic registry (love, honour and respect) then a fully DIY wedding for family where we wrote the vows we were willing to make.

This isn't a TAAT but that did make me think about this.

Basically I wasn't willing to be married to someone who was acting in a depressed manner but who refused to see a doctor, wasn't willing to be married to someone blasÃ© about supporting his family and so forth.

(For the record, we've been married three years and I've supported us through him having a breakdown and him being fired for his attitude which turned out to be Graves Disease).

OP posts:

tb · 04/02/2015 11:45

Full 1662 service, including 'obey'.

Still waiting to be endowed with all his wordly goods - he had a clapped out Vauxhall Viva at the time, and a bank loan to pay for it.

bigTillyMint · 04/02/2015 11:54

Vauxhall Viva?! You must have been married since 1662 tb

mygrandchildrenrock · 04/02/2015 13:21

tb I often joke with my children that when I met their Dad all he had was a bookcase full of books and a clapped out Mazda!

Chunderella · 04/02/2015 13:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PekeandPollicle · 04/02/2015 14:44

We both promised to 'obey' but DH has a chronic illness which at the time we married was incurable. We had been arguing over what would happen if there was treatment which made him iller/ lost all quality of life etc and my 'obey' was only (and clearly expressed to be!) in relation to that. I.e. he gets to decide when he stops fighting to stay alive.

I'm still prepared to live with that promise but glad it doesn't look like I will have to.

LulaPalooza · 04/02/2015 14:57

Peke I'm happy, in the nicest possible way, that you won't have to obey your DH!

I have absolutely no idea what I did or didn't promise. Neither does DH.

We married in South Africa in a civil ceremony. I was 40 minutes late and the woman officiating was about to be late for her next wedding.

So, she read the vows really REALLY fast. DH and I were both incredibly nervous and didn't take it in at all. We didn't have to repeat them back to her, jsut say "I will" or "I do" as appropriate. It was over in less than ten minutes!

I'm sure there was the usual love, honour, death do us part stuff but for all I know I could have promised to keep him in biltong for the rest of his natural born days.

I'm just thankful he can't remember either

PekeandPollicle · 04/02/2015 15:01

Thanks Lula, me too!

Topseyt · 04/02/2015 15:06

All I really remember is that we didn't use the "obey" vow. I am glad of that. I am not the obedient type and neither is my husband.

Happily married for over 21 years now.

leapfrogbaby · 04/02/2015 16:13

I don't remember any of my vows, but I know we picked the shortest and simplest ones available for our register office ceremony. I wouldn't have cared much about 'obey' being in it or not as long as we could have said it all as quickly as possible! For me I didn't think much about the words, I'd rather have just signed a form like you can do in civil partnerships, and we just wanted our inheritance tax issues sorted and other finance stuff to be out of the way!

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