Just broke up and where to now???

[Zoe1960]

I just broke up with my fella 2 weeks ago because I didn't want to move my kids to the US and he can't move here. I'm still feeling sorry for myself but I seem to have a curse over my relationships, have never managed to stay with someone for more than 5 years, and I had decided that I can't keep putting my (3) kids through upheaval over and over. So what do I do? I don't want to be alone but I hate the whole "mum's new friend" thing and the kids either hate the new man or like him much better than I do and get really upset when we break up. And I think the whole pick-up/singles thing is so-o-o-o-o tacky too. I want a relationship, not just a bit on the side. Have any other single mums found a way round this? If I could find the perfect man then it would be no problem but I feel that's just not going to happen. So how can I avoid upsetting the kids without being a nun? Ideas please!!

How do you actually manage to meet so many blokes when you're single? As a single mother myself, I'm always amazed at how other people manage to do this?

It's always been through friends, I hate the whole "on the pull" thing. And it's only been 6 blokes in 15 years which doesn't exactly make me Joan Collins!!

Hi Zoe1960, got no answers - just the same questions! I have been single throughout my daughter's life (she's 2) until Jan when i started dating a man, but it hasn't worked out. She did meet him and I feel a bit bad about that now, although she's too young too know what's going on right now. Its a blinking minefield when you think about it! I have another posibility on the horizon (dim and distant) but even if anything does happen I'm going to wait as long as possible before introducing him to dd. I have horrid nightmare visions of the future with a teenage dd accusing me of being a tart - gah! I also have big doubts about ever finding the 'perfect' man, but mr. nearly perfect would do, sob sob...

Message withdrawn

No answers but at least I know you guys are in the same boat! Good to know I'm not the only one.

When I went through a divorce a few years ago I had decided to be on my own, look after myself and my animals. I was extremeley lucky to meet up with a friend of my brothers who he hadnt known long but had been going through the same thing. We hit it off straight away, both of us not looking for a relationship at all. But it happened, he is my Mr Perfect. I know I didnt have children but try finding someone who will take on two horses and two dogs. We have a son and expecting no2 later this year and I couldnt be happier. I suppose what Im saying is they come along when you least expect it. I was out enjoying being single again and bang there you go. Dont have any preconceived ideas either, so many men are very different when they speak to the right women, no macho shield. Good luck all they are out there, fate will take over.

So happy to hear your story of something workimg out but god! how I wish mine was just horses and dogs!! My kids are diamond, and that makes it more complicated. Come back and talk!