I think I'm done now.

[Scoopmuckdizzy]

I've had enough. It's all gone tits up again. We have never ever had a smooth run- always drama from his ex or DSC or just lies for the sake of lies. How many times do I try before I know it's failed? How many times do we fail before we give up altogether?

We have 2 young DC and I am heartbroken that he could do this to them, especially given the guilt he felt towards his DC over his marriage break up that wasn't even his fault.

I can't believe this is happening

I want to wake up from this toxic nightmare.

I have been lied to and lied to. He said no more lies but he's been caught out yet again and this one is too much. It might have been salvageable if he'd come to me and admitted he made a mistake but he lied and liedto cover himself until it was found out anyway.

I don't know the man I live with. He's a compulsive liar and I don't think he'll ever change.

I'm a confused anxious mess. I'm not strong enough to say leave. I'm not strong enough to be the one to end this when my babies are so little. He says he's sorry and he wanted to tell me. He shouldn't have done it in the first place. We've been through counselling- I thought we were out of this. It's been so good but he's such a talented liar I'm even doubting that.

I don't know why I'm posting here. I can't tell anyone as I'm so ashamed that I've stayed this long. I'm the one setting myself up for all of this. He was never going to change.

Nope. I'm sorry you found yourself so deeply embroiled with a liar. You are right...he won't change...and even if by some miracle he did, you'd never be able to believe in him him again anyway. You'd always doubt the sincerity of what comes out of his mouth.
Without trust there's little to build on.
I feel for you.

Lying is habitual imo - a learned behaviour. I don't think liars ever stop reverting to type, because they are essentially cowards, and fundamentally self serving...and there's nothing you can do about that.

He's a compulsive liar (so was my ex) and they never change. What do you want to do now?

I have absolutely no idea. I'm so scared of breaking up my family.

So what has/does he lie about?

I'm sorry you are going through this. I also have experience of a compulsive liar.

No, they don't change. It has taken an awful lot of pain and anger for me to realise this.

I have a 2 year old and am 20 weeks pregnant. Dickhead husband left 12 days before christmas. (I also have a 12 year old from my first relationship).

It IS terrifying. I am still terrified of what is/has happened.

But I can tell you this much, the relief of not living with a liar and not having constant suspicion over EVERYTHING (!) is amazing. It's blissful. The peace I feel at not needing to deal with his shit and lies is something else.

He told lies about anything and everything. He simply didn't want to deal with reality. He admitted to making up stories about himself to other people, just to seem interesting. His first response to everything was to lie, whether it was big, small, or completely inconsequential.

I also said the same thing to myself, and him. When is it over? When do we call it a day? I've never had a smooth run with him either. But now I'm there - I'm done. I can't do it any more. I've realised that being on my own is simply easier and calmer. And no rollercoaster of emotions.

What do you want? I wanted him to change, and mature. He can't/won't. So all I can do is take control of my life, and me. And do what is best for me and my children. Do you think he will change? Do you think he wants to change?

I'm sorry you too met a compulsive liar.

You don't break up a family by relocating some of the members. Families are more easily destroyed by things like hostility, mistrust & upset than they are by geography. If the relationship is dysfunctional and you're all under one roof, it's a really bad environment and people get damaged.

If you're not strong enough to end it yet, be strong enough to think about ending it. Do some research, find out some facts, take legal advice, look into finances.... You will feel more confident if you armed with facts and, if he sees you taking the possibility of separation seriously, he may even be motivated to stop lying. But don't count on it.

My two year old hasn't even noticed daddy has gone. I haven't even had the word daddy from him.

And daddy was his main carer.... it says a lot I think. :)

Children do far better than we give them credit for.