Moving on after escaping an abusive relationship

[Juniper414]

Hi, I'm new here. Bit of background - escaped a 12yr long abusive relationship, emotional/mental abuse mainly but stepped up to physical abuse at the point of leaving. I'm lucky to have good support from friends and family and am actually doing really well and am mostly happy (still some up and down days).
I met a really nice guy, seems to be one of life's genuine people, what you see is what you get but I'm having trouble trusting either him or myself. There is not one thing I can say he says or does that causes me to mistrust him, I know its from my past history. How can I help myself to overcome this?

you dont say how long its been since u left but it can take years to trust.. its been two years for me and i like men as friends but a date is out of the question. have you had any counselling?

It's been just over 12months. I haven't had any counselling. I've been referred but nothing happened yet.

one year isnt long. have you told newman about your past? are you officially a couple? i can only suggest the two of u ficus on friendship right now so you can learnto trust him gradually.

Emotional abuse affects not just your trust in others but your faith in yourself. When you lack confidence in your own judgement, you can start seeing problems where they don't exist.... or worse, you ignore doubts and end up staying with someone unsuitable.

If you're struggling, do consider counselling.