Ok, I think I need a slap.

[Yesiknowimatwat]

Have name-changed to protect the innocent.

I have been married for 2 years, and with my DH for 10. We met when I was a teenager. We have a house together, but no children yet, although we're trying.

I go away with work every now and again, and my job involves meeting people of a similar age throughout Europe, and occasionally partying with them.

I got back from one such event over the weekend, where I spent a week away doing the usual. Anyway, I was drunk, at a club, and dancing with some of the people I was there with. The club eventually closed, and to cut a long story short one guy walked me back to me hotel. He and I connected. I don't think there's much truth in star signs, but it really was like there was a force other than ourselves pulling us together (probably the alcohol). He admitted he was drunk and said something to the effect that we could stay up all night... Prior to this we had discussed the fact that we are both married, and he said something like he tries to be good, but doesn't expect himself to be good until he is 80...

Anyway, got back to the hotel room to find that a text I had sent him earlier in the night had only just delivered (iMessage waiting for a wifi connection), and so the conversation continued. It ended up getting pretty dirty, and was a real turn-on. He said he couldn't take his eyes off me, and was finding it hard to hold himself back when I was dancing, amongst other things.

Cut to today, 4 days later, and I'm back at home with my DH, whom I love, but I can't stop thinking about this guy. Please tell me I'm being stupid! He's married, is 10 years older, has 2 children, lives in a different country, and clearly thinks it's ok to cheat on his wife...

Honestly, what is wrong with me? It was hugely flattering to have someone compliment you in such a way when your self esteem isn't especially high, but why am I playing with fire here, and want this conversation with this man to continue?

Does anyone else find themselves going through phases like this in their marriage? What do you do to stop yourself, or stop everything ending in tears?

Virtual slap here. You've seriously crossed a line. Imagine how you'd feel if your DH had done that behind your back.

Be grateful it didn't go further, block his number and try very hard not to get involved in this sort of behaviour again. This is exactly how affairs begin.

God he sounds like a sleeze (sleaze?). Keep in mind how grim you would be feeling if you'd taken it any further and that should serve as a reminder in future.

Never a good idea to mix work and pleasure certainly not to this extent.

Thanks Springy, thanks everyone.

After a good night's sleep I'm feeling much more clear today, like I'm able to see him for who he really is, which is a sleaze, so that's working nicely! I just can't believe I was taken in by his crap so easily.

Thank you all for being the voice of sanity!

Listen, he has as good as told you he expects to cheat on his wife. Therefore you must understand that you are not special, it's not fate, starsigns schmarsigns...he's a common garden sleaze.

Risk everything to be his current ego trip if you want, but I wouldn't recommend it.

As an asides, it's quite worrying how easily you are flattered. Self esteem lady...get some! xx

x posted gah!

As others have said - you have crossed a line, and you need to think what is going to stop you crossing it again. 'Away with work/had a few drinks/one thing lead to another' - it's a common enough scenario - and a depressingly sleazy one. I've been with dh for 22 years, we both work away from home regularly. Have a fancied people I've worked with? Course. Have I done anything about it? Nope. If dh did this, it would destroy my trust in him, and change our marriage for years, if not forever.

You are going to be in similar situations again, so you need to think what will stop you crossing that line. You know (I think?) that the star-sign/couldn't help myself shit is the booze talking. If you could help yourself/weren't overwhelmed when you are sober, the connection ain't all that, is it? What you can't help thinking about is the romance/the excitement, rather than this guy per se.

DO feel guilty - frankly, you should. But use that guilt to protect yourself against next time. Do something to get in shape/make yourself feel good; re-engage what makes you feel romantic about dh; put a gorgeous photo of him on your phone so you see it every time you take it out ... what do YOU think you need.

You have deleted his number right?

Well said Super, it's not the same.