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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Moved out and need to get the rest of my stuff but now he's being a twat...

4 replies

LittleMissRayofHope · 02/02/2015 09:50

My DSis left her incredibly EA and PA boyfriend YAY
She moved out, taking all she could at that time and left her key. It's his house. Her name isn't on the deed.

At first he was all 'I care about you, live here til u are sorted, come see the dog' etc
But when that manipulation didn't work to make her return he has turned and is basically refusing her access to get her stuff. Saying he is never in (he never used to go out so this is odd) and that she can't set foot inside as it will emotionally scar the dog.

What rights does she have here?

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 02/02/2015 09:57

She's entitled to collect her property. If he's being obstructive and abusive and she can't get access in the usual way then she can ask the police to escort her while she takes away the things that are hers. If 'PA' means 'physically abusive' then she has the right to report the offence, of course.

pictish · 02/02/2015 10:00

I agree - she is entitled to get her stuff, and if he is obstructive then she needs to contact the police.

LittleMissRayofHope · 02/02/2015 10:02

No, emotionally abusive and very very passive aggressive.
He wasn't ever physically abusive (that I know off) and don't see that in him either.

But he is just being very obstructive.
He will ask when she wants to come and then says he isn't in then but he won't say when he is in. Playing silly buggers basically.
I wasn't sure about being able to call the police, I guess she could pop into a station and get advise. Is it asking for an escort to avoid a breach of the peace? Even though he wasn't violent?

Thanks

OP posts:
pictish · 02/02/2015 10:06

The non emergency number is 101. She can ring and ask where she stands on this one.
That's what I would do.

On no account should she continue to play the game. Every exchange means being drawn back in to his control.
Seek advice and proceed forthwith I'd say.

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