Hoping for some advice /support if possible.
On holiday with DP, DS his mum and dad and sister and husband. Background is been together 7 years.
His family are very confrontational. They are all pretty rude to each other, dismissive etc. My family isn't perfect but I was shocked at how they communicate with each other but love DP and just sort stay quiet if it's happening around me. However, P's parents have some opinions I find offensive, saville victims were making a fuss as it was a different era and some mildly homophobic/racist views etc
Tonight, P's M was talking about someone in their village being gay and said ' I would be very disappointed if my child was gay' there was a discussion where I basically said she was homophobic. DP and sister also challenged her. Then she said randomly and I guess as a get back at me calling her homophobic said 'I don't agree with people having children out of wedlock.'
I told her she was offensive and left the room pretty upset as it seemed like a direct attack on me. She came up 10 mins later and said they told her she needed to apologise so she was. I said I don't accept as she made it clear how she felt about my lifestyle choice.
They stayed downstairs for 2 hours arguing/challenging her on her opinions and views, no one came to see if I was ok.
I could hear every word, DP defended me and also told her that I was one of her biggest supporters as in the past one always tried to get them to be nicer to her, she can sometimes be picked on. She had a massive tantrum and they all said I'm sure it'll work out.
Anyway, I kind of made a decision whilst this was going on that I cant spend another 5 days in this environment, shittest holiday ever, their dynamic is never going to change or her views. But I can remove myself from this bullshit.
DP came to bed laughing about it. I said its serious explained calmly that I wanted to leave early and he should take the opportunity to work some of this stuff out with them (the bigger family dynamic). He started booking the 3 of us flights home. I said, sleep on it don't do anything rash if we all go your relationships could be badly damaged with your family. He said he didn't care he was going to protect his family (me and DS) and cut his family off as I was right about it not being on.
He then did a total change of heart and said he'd spent £3k on the holiday and I could either go home and leave DS with them. Or stay and get over it and accept an apology in the morning like I should as it's the grown up thing to do. She won't change and can't understand why I would be offended so I just have to put up with being offended.
He said why should I get to take DS home early and insinuated he wouldn't let me take him. I'm fucking furious. He also said if he comes home with us he'll cut his family off as a threat that it would be my decision/choice.
Any views? Please help I can't sleep and feel really upset and trapped.