C##nt, fat bitch and imbecile

[Countyourchickens]

I was going to NC but don't see the point.

These are the expletives I have been called this weekend by my husband. The 'dear' no longer applies. All said within earshot of my children BTW.

The first word was used yesterday following a short argument - don't even recall what it was about.

The other two were used today when I came in from visiting my mother with DD to finding all the washing piled up ( he had washed it) but not put away. Domestic division of labour is a constant source of tension ( I work ft, take kids to and from childcare and do most housework) . I called him lazy ( I don't hold back so I said it with a tone rather than a mild comment IYKWIM). Not saying I was right but I was cross that he folded the washing and the left it in piles awaiting my return when he was doing bugger all. Happens all the time, never seen him put the bloody washing away or clean a bathroom.

My point is, I don't feel I deserved time called a fat bitch and imbecile for calling him lazy. He also added " the word I called you yesterday applies (c##t).

I am doing homework with the kids and trying not t show my hurt. Just need to hear some POV from strangers.

Over to you.

Sorry, That, wasn't meaning to sound accusatory. I've heard the 'reclaiming' thing used on the board before by women who use the word very happily. It jars terribly with me, and obviously with you too.

I find it's hard to change others but it's not hard to change what you do about it.

An ex of mine once called me a fucking fat cow (size12!)

I rang him the next day and ended it telling him not to contact me again. He couldn't even manage that. Spent the next week begging and grovelling like a little baby. Got him nowhere and he ended by texting
What a f###ing c### I was.....charming

I can accept a row but being called a fat cow? No way.

Take control....

No worries Lying -I was worried I'd sounded like I was trying to tell you what you should think!

Over to you.

We can't, you have to take the lead on this. We need to know what you want.

I called him lazy because he was being lazy. What else do you suggest in this scenario. I say nothing whilst putting a great pile of washing away?

You know OP it doesn't have to be one or the other. There is something in between. You could sit down together with a cup of tea and work out who is going to do what in order that all the jobs get done and you can live together in harmony.

Did you end up putting the washing away anyway?

So much swearing on here and people are up in arms about a few swear words. As one poster commented, surely it is the tone and the message that matters.

OP, your husband could have used perfectly respectable words but if behind them all is a lack if respect for or a dislike of you then that relationship is on it's last legs. Sounds like bitterness and resentment have set in.

It doesn't sound like you like each other at all. You obviously resent him. He does sound lazy. And the name calling would suggest to me that there's not much to try to save. I'd ask him to leave for a trial separation and if I was happier during it, divorce him.

Strangely, doing absolutely everything is much less stressful when you're the only one to do it.

Thanks all. I have read all your messages and taken it all in. I havent made any decisions yet but have decided to steer clear from him. well as much as possible when you live in the same house. I am not speaking about until I am firm in my decision but at the moment separation sounds appealing.

Can't see how it's reclaiming 'cunt' to use it to describe nasty people. You don't describe a horrible man as 'beautiful', 'pleasurable' or 'delightful'. Those are the words I'd like to associate with Cunt, not 'bullying', 'mean' or vicious'.

The OP was clearly called Cunt as a term of abuse. Whatever the words used, the intent was horrible and I reckon she's well off out of it.

I think that would be best all round, chickens

My male partner does nearly all the housework as I hate doing it and I do the cooking and admin work - are there things your partner could do instead ie better division of household tasks? I thank my partner often for doing the housework and say he should only do if if he wants to ie I make it clear it's his choice what he wants to do. We are both on benefits so together at home most of the time so it's important to get on well and nip any arguments in the bud ASAP otherwise the atmosphere isn't nice and there's no escape from it! We don't have children though and he is a very quiet person who hates shouting so as long as I don't start an argument we are ok. I would say if your partner is using language like that towards you and around your family I would give him an ultimatum to stop as no one can function well in a disrespectful environment like that.

I have felt disrespected by my partner sometimes in the past and have told him clearly how he has made me feel and he usually apologises and I do too. It's very important to discuss these things and both make an effort to compromise or change if necessary, otherwise things will get worse.

Horrible way to speak, to anyone, and in front of kids, just nasty.

Maybe time to call it quits, when things get this low.