lonely

[fattymcfatfat]

So bit of background. ...was with the ex about 7 years ago we had ds then split ended up in a whole court case etc. ...anyways got through that....I stupidly thought he had changed and got back with him ds is now 6, we have a 1yo dd and im pg with number 3 . He left me in November. Now im lonely and I miss him even though I know we dont work as a couple I just wish things had been different. I have no one to turn to as my family think im stupid anyway and would just tell me to suck it up and my friends seem to have found out I was expecting again and abandoned me. Im in tears a lot of the time and am so miserable without him...but I dont know if thats just hormones! Arrggh

Would your family and friends really be so judgemental and unkind or is that something you're assuming? It's frustrating and upsetting watching people you love go back down the slippery slope of a bad relationship, and they may have decided to take a step back in the past. But if you are in a crisis, that tends to change things. Do approach people.

As for loneliness, I suspect it was the same loneliness that made you give him a second chance. Your challenge is to develop the confidence and self assurance to be independent. So, even though it hurts and even though you're upset, make an effort to do anything you can to stop 'alone' meaning 'lonely'. Socialise, take care of yourself, make plans, work... fill the gaps he has left behind.

Should add.... If you are still in tears all the time please think about talking to your GP. Ante natal depression is not just hormones.

Ive tried to approach my family and was told I am being stupid. As for my friends they have changed plans at the last minute and not told me so I will turn up to meet and they only tell me after ive phoned them that they cant make it even though they have been telling me all morning its still ok. Or they arrange to come to mine and dont turn up, or if I go to theirs when arranged they go out so I literally have no one to turn to. I dont work as said ex stopped me from getting a job.

Then if you're genuinely flying solo - and I'm sorry that the people around you have been so nasty - you've got your work cut out. How easy would it be for you to get back into work? Kicking around at home all day can be depressing whereas the structure of a working day can provide focus

At the moment it is pretty much out of the question as im 15 weeks pregnant and suffer from spd which causes reduced mobility. I have qualifications etc and do plan to go to work once ive had baby. But I will have to weigh up childcare costs for them aswell.

When weighing up childcare costs, don't forget to factor in his responsibilities. Co parenting, child maintenance and so forth. Get it legally drawn up and enforced so that he can't back out on his kids as easily as he sesms to think he can back out on you.