Hello... I need an outside opinion as I feel very lost in my marriage. Im so sad this morning and even though its snowing, its the wkd and everything should be prefect I just want to go back to bed and cry.
Sorry this is long and boring....
My husband and I have been married for nearly 6 years, together 8 and we have 2 young boys. He has his own business and has been focusing on it a lot lately as it seems to be finally taking off. For the last 5 years I have been so supportive of his work and in the background have had 2 babies and put myself through law school and become a lawyer.
We are ordinarily a very very happy couple, very close cuddly, we laugh together, have sex often, love each others families have nice friends, just bought a house together etc
But over the years there has always been an imbalance. We are both career driven, Ive always wanted to earn money Im a very sociable out going person but it made more sense for him to dvpe his career first and I have taken it in my stride ie I have been a good caring housewife and mother and supportive wife. He has had over the years tons of business trips away, many many late nights, many incredible opportunities and I an always left 'behind' waiting at home. It has been hard but I knew it wasnt for ever.
I think because of the way his life is he has grown more and more selfish and taking me for granted a lot. Maybe Im wrong I don't know, but every night there is a home cooked diner on the table in a clean house, everything is cleaned ironed the boys are fed bathed in bed, ive applied for jobs managed to wash my hair and put a bit of make up on and .. I dont know I think thats good of me?
Anyway i know on some level I might do too much but I enjoy spoiling my family because I love them so much. But I feel so taken for granted. Ive had the stomach virus recently and bronchitis and so have the children and he has been away all week abroad and I was so hoping some support this wkd. Someone to cook me bfast, help me with my cold, spoil me a bit! And he has just been acting like such a princess, wouldnt get up with the children I had to do it, expecting food, so unhelpful. I always do everything, I try so so hard
Thats my point basically as soon as things get tough and Im not being the positive supportive housekeper/ wife I m alone! He wont take over and help me its all about him. He keeps saying you should have your cough checked which pisses me off ! All i need is home cooked food, someone to get up at night and help me. Ive had not time to eat and look after myself this week Ive been so alone ( nurovirus oblige) and i just want him to notice all im doing and be so grateful and appreciative.
He used to be but with time he has changed obviously.
We have talked about this as he has done some incredibly selfish things over the years and he said he would make an effort which hasnt happened. As soon as he has the opportunity, he goes straight back into selfish mode.
He is obsessed with his work- rightly its what enables us to live- but wont ever get off his emails or switch off.
I feel so abandoned and sad. He just asked ne why are you sulking? He thinks all the pbm comes from me that he never does anything wrong. Im 28 Im pretty Im clever I feel I deserve more. Im happy to do everything and be supportive but I need something back or it hurts to do all these things.
I cant bring it up again he will roll his eyes and call me hormonal I dont know what to do.
I know this isnt a BIG pbm but its really affecting me. What am I doing wrong? What can I do to change this situation and make him less selfish?
I LOVE him so much and Im so dedicated to my family but I dont feel like he loves me and I cant see my self carrying on like this for ever. Yes I will find a job soon and a balance should be restored but I shouldnt ignore that when I need him he isnt there right?
Resentful is not good for my marriage.... Any advice please?